GIVING IT TO YOU RAW…What Happened Last Night (Oct. 6th, 2014)

I didn’t know what to expect coming into RAW last night.  I heard this, read about that but, really had no clue what would transpire.  Was I pleasantly surprised? In the right places.  Was I thoroughly entertained?  Not as much as I would have liked but at the same time, I get the feeling it’s best not to ask too much at this present juncture.  Though the WWE appears to be piecing together “Plan B” each night, it’s still very evident that quite a few question marks linger, which may be what makes it very much like Life right now.  They may just be doing the best with what they’ve got.  At the same time, they have the means to override the slings and arrows of Fate.  Perhaps, the issue is not knowing how to best use said means?

In any case, we open with the guy everybody likes to hate or at least beat down in Seth Rollins, all slippery wet and with an axe to grind.  He rants about how everyone is on his ass and how great he is and how he’s the guy “to beat” and the ass-kicker and yadda-yadda-yadda. You know, he just comes out and starts talking all this shit.  To the point the real Authority goons come out and try to talk Seth into vacating the ring peaceably but, of course, he’s not hearing them.  I understand why he does this but still, just doesn’t seem like something he should be doing, right.  Well, at about the point one would start to scrutinize this more or opt for playing with one's phone, out blazes John Cena to get his piece of Rollins Ass.  And he gets a good sized chunk before Rollins bails into the crowd, only to be confronted by the one with 1^st dibs on his ass, Dean Ambrose.  The pummeling continues until The Authority in the forms of just Stephanie McMahon and Triple H come out to settle things down and announce the night’s Main Event of Cena and Ambrose versus Randy Orton, Dad (Kane), and Rollins in a 3-on-2 Handicap Match.  Sure, whatever.  That seems to be what we do these days, put everybody in the ring.

For chapter 2, we have another rehashing of The Usos and Dolph Ziggler up against Gold & Stardust + Cesaro.  Again, I’m not going to harp on the repetition here because these guys always deliver and last night was no exception.  The Dust Brothers are embracing their campy Heel-dom and The Usos continue to thrive and entertain with a more the merrier type approach by bringing Ziggler into their fold. They even all managed to land a threesome of a synchronized superkick.  Though somewhat predictable and matter-of-fact, this match was fun and well-executed so, no real complaints from me.

We then go to an awkward Adam Rose segment, to coincide with the underlying theme of the fight against breast cancer with Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb from the Today show.  They play along as best they can but it did feel like watching 2 of your aunts get tipsy and loose at a wedding, funny for all the wrong reasons and a little embarrassing.  Fortunately, it didn’t last long.

Following that, was another short match between Bo Dallas and Mark Henry.  Henry continues to be his own worst enemy by focusing on pummeling Dallas as opposed to beating him wrassling style and gets himself counted out.  I suppose it serves its purpose if this Henry heel-turn is to take place but I think using Dallas as the catalyst won’t hold up for much longer because…come on, it’s Bo Dallas.  Henry doesn’t have that kind of tunnel-vision.  I mean, he can be made to but, seriously?  He’s gonna have to lose to Ziggler, maybe…bring back Fandango for insult, something like that.  Wait for Ryback to come back, set some shit off that way maybe.  I don’t know, just throwing ideas out there.

Anyway, moving along we have Cena and Ambrose come out to set the record straight with each other.  Ambrose is trying to play nice, but Cena left Ambrose high and dry to go kick Ambrose’s rightful claim of ass.  Not to mention how Cena talks shit about him.  Well, Cena tries to hear him but voices how he doesn’t have to either.  It looks like they’re shaping up to have some good ol’New School vs. Old School animosity, which is a story that never gets old, especially in this business.  No one likes some snarky whippersnapper coming in, throwing his weight around.  And the fresh meat usually doesn’t take nicely to some old-hand slowing him down with his outdated ways.  Well, they stare each other down for a bit and then Ambrose decides to get some air and hops on a subway.  We get to see it and everything.

The next matches go down in pretty quick fashion, it’s as if they have a schedule to keep or something *wink wink*.  We have Brie Bella come out with an arm strapped behind her back and she rolls around with Summer “Landstrider” Rae.  Needless to say, being one-handed didn’t stop her from winning.  Then Jack Swagger had at Natalya’s boy, Tyson Kidd.  I’ve heard of him but never seen him.  Not bad, I suppose, apparently a heel in the making, given his attitude.  The match went smoothly for the most part with Swagger tapping Kidd out with his Patriot Lock.  We then go to a real brief chat with Roman Reigns who’s still recovering (surprise-surprise), and then into the Comedic Relief with a playful little person match between Mini Gator (Hornswoggle) and El Torito.  Meh. It’s what it was, all around.  What are you gonna do.

Then we get into the advertised response from Lana and Rusev to Big Show’s diplomatic apology from last week’s SmackDown.  Naturally, Lana is haughty and condescending as Rusev stands there, pillar of the New Cold War.  It's a perfect time to reach for your beer and take a swig and you just about spit it out when you hear, “CAN YOU SMEEELLLLLLL!!!!!....” and The Rock’s music comes on and not only that, THE ROCK APPEARS!!  Now, this wasn’t as surprising to me as it would have been since I’m on the West Coast and already saw the Twitterverse explode but still, I regressed and promptly lost my shit anyway.

Yes, it was like old times when wrestling was simple, fun and of course, electrifying!  It didn’t take long for The Rock to remember his roots and settle back into his old shtick.  I’d think it’d be akin to riding a bike.  He told a tale of his travels to Brooklyn, accented with his usual shit-talk, short of threatening to slap all the yellow out of Rusev’s mouth and Rusev and Lana, with their nerve, try to tell The Rock that he has no business interfering......Right.  As they quickly learn, The Rock does as The Rock pleases.  The Rock then quickly “escorts” Rusev out the Ring with a series of slaps to the chest and face.  Memories, indeed. *sigh*

An attempt to follow that up came in the form of a Divas Tag Team Match with Alicia Fox and Paige vs. AJ Lee and Emma.  I like Emma.  I find her dorky-cute persona terribly endearing and relatable for whatever reason.  As much as I’d like to think of myself as a low-key badass, I’m probably more of a bumbling klutz with a move or two.  Besides, if you haven’t notice, I lean towards comedy so, I keep things light.   I suppose this was good juxtaposition to AJ’s “stand alone crazy” but at least Emma was a good sport.  AJ just pouted and left as Paige ended the match giving Emma a faceplant/Ram-Paige.  True, that’s what AJ's supposed to do but to what end?  I don’t know and it’s hard to say if it really matters at this point. She’ll be back to face Paige again tonight or next week I’m sure.

Next on the docket are The Miz and Sheamus for a quick fox trot.  This actually wasn’t that bad of a match. It’s one of the cartoonier match-ups but it was entertaining nonetheless, especially with Damien Sandow playing up his mock heel-itude on the sidelines.  Yet, in a bit of a change-up, The Miz manages to get the win which may indicate some mid-card title action down the road but…meh, who cares.  No disrespect to Sheamus, though.  Think he’s great.

After all that, we finally make it to the Main Event, which seems like Cena’s inadvertent comeuppance.  We see Cena, courageously stand his ground against Rollins, Orton and Dad/Kane.  Now Rollins, the punk that he is, starts it off only to tag out and let Cena get jostled about.  Orton and Kane do great jobs of being mean and wrassling, letting Cena have it.  Cena gets some hits in but, it’s clear he’s not favored in this one.  Just as you check your phone for the time and start to wonder how they’re gonna wrap this up, out comes Ambrose with a "pilfered" hot dog cart.  He finishes his hot dog, talks a little shit and then gets to tossing condiments and our wrestling turns into a bit of “sploshing”.

Not my particular cup of tea but hey, whatever floats your boat.  Ambrose even makes "creative" use of some tongs on Rollins...better be careful, though.  He already alluded to Rollins being a freak.  Before the WWE racks up too exorbitant of cleaning fees, Stephanie and H stroll out to announce that since you guys like beating each other up so much over Rollins' ass, why don’t you do it when people pay.  Cena, Ambrose you 2 are gonna go at it at Hell in a Cell.  Winner gets Rollins in the cell.  Ambrose says, “Fine by me” and proceeds to give Cena Dirty Deeds, done dirt cheap.  That’s how Ambrose rolls.  Looks like more fun will be had tonight (^_~)

See You Friday…

-Nicole Alexis