GIVING IT TO YOU RAW…What Happened Last Night (Nov. 24th, 2014)

So, after an…engaging Survivor Series, we return to regular time play with the typical RAW follow-up.  Well, like I voiced in my previous post, I wasn’t really sure why the WWE felt it necessary to shoot themselves in the foot to sell us on bad ideas but, the damage is done and RAW didn’t add too much salve.  It was better than the previous RAW but still comes off as a lot of the same old-same old with just the Faces “calling the shots” now.  And now we have the return of this Anonymous GM that’s serving to be more annoying than suspenseful but, seeing how it’s just the first night and feedback, I’m sure, is coming in fast and furiously, if the WWE is smart, they are having some closed-door meetings and really thinking seriously about how they’re gonna turn this all around.  I’m sure they’ve been closer to losing it all in the past than we know but, there has been no time in my cognizance of this universe have I’ve been more worried for the future of this product.  As this entire blog and I’m sure plenty of fans have been professing, they need to figure out how to retool all of this or there won’t be anything to pitch or at least, no one to pitch it to.

Anyway, the night opens with what?! The Authority?!  What are they doing here?!  Well, if they really wanted to keep our hopes up, they wouldn’t have showed but alas, they blow their own “kayfabery” by returning to offer remorse and chide us for ousting them.  How can we be such bullies? Stephanie turns on the waterworks and Triple H, the always consummate husband, takes to the mic to reprimand us for being so mean.  Well, we’ll be all sorry when this whole thing comes crashing down and you’ll be begging for us back, BEGGING!  Okay, I get trying to sell this angle but, again, it puts the WWE needlessly at risk.  There appears to be a disconnect between what the company thinks the fans like and what the fans actually like and I suppose, in a way this could be filed under a “familiarity breeds contempt” sort of umbrella.  Perhaps whoever is running RAW simply has been doing it too long and has lost touch with what is actually a selling point. Not to mention trying to appease higher-ups and shareholders all the while, as well. Yet, if we the audience are looking to be entertained, we don’t really want to feel bad about it, especially when we know that the whole reason the former Authority is out there is because Creative put them out there so…why are they upset at us?  It’s not like we got to vote.  Our disapproval may have showed in our lack of enthusiasm but, whose fault is that?  And judging from what I’ve been reading around the internet, they probably put Sting out there just to win the crowd back so, again, why are we being presented with a storyline that we know to be bogus.  It’s an 8 o’clock crowd.  Though there are kids present, the majority of the audience are adults of drinking age.  We probably pick up WWE news just by browsing the internet in between whatever work we gotta do.  If the WWE is going to stick to Kayfabe as a concept, they have to be tighter lipped and more realistic in their approach.  Saying, "we'll regret this" is stupid because all we'll do is walk away.  We'd lament the failure of the company but, in this state, doubt many would be all that broken up about it going, except for maybe the roster.  So not what the WWE is going for, I’m sure.  If you’re gonna fool us, fool us and in a way that makes us want to see what happens, not throw in the towel because in that case, it won’t be us left high and dry.

Well, The Former Authority ready themselves to take their leave when Wagner’s’ “Ride of the Valkyries” remix comes on and wouldn’t you know it, Daniel Bryan is in the house! And not only that, he’s going to be the General Manager for the night.  With regime change come sweeping reforms and to begin, Daniel Bryan has something in mind for all of the former Team Authority, who are promptly called out.  First up, for the new Heel Supreme, Seth Rollins, you’ll be paired up later for a Tag Team, 3-on-2 Handicap Match with Dolph Ziggler and John Cena.  The only caveat, your partners have yet to be decided.  Well, whatever! Is Rollins’ response. He goes on to state that he remains the future of the WWE and no arbitrary twist of fate is gonna stop him.  That sort of attitude isn’t gonna win you friends or favors, Bryan basically responds.  So, we’ll leave it up to the WWE Universe to decide your fate.  Should Rollins be paired with Mark Henry & Luke Harper, Mark Henry & Kane/Dad or twin short-stuffs Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury?  We’ll find out later.  Rollins basically goes, “This is bullshit!” and storms off.  Bryan’s attention then turns to Dad.  Should he stay Director of Operations?  Survey says! No…Why don’t you go handle concessions, Dad.  Who’s next?  Bryan looks at his imaginary list to see it’s Rusev.  Rusev and Lana step forward.  Seeing how you 2 need to respect the country you’re in, you get 2 options.  Either you can put the US Championship on the line for a company-wide Battle Royal or you can be nice and say the Pledge of Allegiance before the American flag?  What’s it gonna be?  Begrudgingly, the 2 opt for the latter and make their exit.  Next we have Luke Harper…well, since he’s a “special” case let’s just have him and Dean Ambrose go at it for the Intercontinental Championship.  All righty, that leaves Mr. Mark Henry.  Mark, why don’t you and Ryback have a dance, ‘cause that’s what I do.  I’ll be backstage, Bryan might as well have said and pretty much like that, Henry and Ryback go at it.

I actually missed the match but when I came back, Henry was laid out and from what I saw of the replay, it was basically an open and shut case of Ryback’s foot up his ass.  Ryback destroys him as only Ryback can and that at least is promising.

Backstage, Stephanie and Triple H are walking the corridors when they happen upon GrandDad a.k.a. Vince McMahon.  They offer their apologies.  They’re sorry for letting him down.  They thought they were doing such a good job.  Well, GrandDad isn’t so much mad as he is disappointed.  These two had such promising reigns and let it falter.  They’re going to get the mop and broom and clean-up this mess.  In the meantime, he’ll somehow muster up the tolerance to sit beside the both of ‘em at the table this Thanksgiving and GrandDad takes his leave.  Like I said on the “Twitters”, no one lays it on thicker.

Next in the ring, we have that Intercontinental Championship match between Dean Ambrose and Luke Harper.  As far as a match goes, it was well-executed.  These 2 got to wrassling and it was quite believable.  There’s a GIF of Dean Ambrose circulating getting kicked in the face by good ol’Luke “Doesn’t Pull Punches” Harper so, we don’t have to worry about whether these guys go for it, they definitely do.  Yet, Harper seems to get a little too invested in the match and shoves Ambrose into a referee, causing a disqualification.  With the title now off the line, Ambrose decides to go for good ol’fashioned carnage and starts pulling up the ring apron to see what goodies are stashed under there.  He starts to do what he did to Bray Wyatt the night before and Wyatt comes out to do what he did to Ambrose a couple of weeks ago.  This ambush works just as well actually, if not better.  I liked it more than their Survivor Series match which lends the question as to why is better quality product being offered up at RAW, if the goal is to get us to pay for the Network? If they switched the 2 matches, it’d at least seem like they knew what they were doing. I tell ya, someone is just not thinking things through somewhere.

What follows next is a tag team rematch between the Brothers Dust and The Miz & Damien “Mizdow” for the Tag Team Title. This, wasn’t all that bad. It actually served its purpose as being both entertaining and funny along with moving a loose story along. The Miz continues to be the douchy heel that he is and does all he can to milk the attention without really working for it. I found the eyelash emergency particularly obnoxious but, rightly so. Damien Mizdow does his duty to help retain the title but it’s The Miz that waits for the crucial moment to tag himself in and get the win. All in a day’s work...to Mizdow’s chagrin.

We then have Lana and Rusev come out to pay their respects to Old Glory and to make sure they do it right, we have Sgt. Slaughter come out to oversee.  Well, this segment is basically what I mean about this being a tired angle and just flat-out out of date.  Nowadays, the WWE would have gotten sued for trying to make someone do that. It’s a civic right to decide for oneself who one will pledge allegiance to. And though, I’d like to think we’re making strides, despite disheartening stories in the news, we generally should be a part of the solution and try to stay away from these culturally charged rivalries. Let’s save it for the World Cup or something. Rusev is big and mean and just happens to be Bulgarian/Russian.  Nevertheless, should we need to get that patriotic sentiment going we’ve got Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter to help move it along.  Rusev ends up having a tense staredown with Slaughter and that’s when Swagger makes his way to the ring.  No "fer-ren" brute is gonna rough up one of our legends.  You take this here Patriot Lock and you like it!  Well, Rusev moves well for a large man and gets himself out the ring and Swagger is ready for when Rusev wants to go again.

Now, I know I’m not the only one who thinks along the lines that I do when it comes to what would work best but, it’s always encouraging when it gets validated in action.  It’s nice to know I’m not talking completely out my ass. Though, I’ve read some rumblings about bringing Swagger in, since Rusev has definitely established himself as a main Heel, if they’re going to work this Us vs. Them angle, at least until they move on to something else, Swagger’s the best bet.  I’m pretty sure that kayfabe aside, Roman Reigns’ last bit just about confirms that a patriotic feud between the 2 of them won’t fly or would come off so contrived no one would really want to see it.  Swagger serves a purpose in being Cornfed.  He’s perfect for that JarHead shit and presenting him that way more often probably wouldn’t hurt either.

We then go into some playful asides with Kane/Dad doing some concessions work and providing some fodder for the night’s guest, Larry the Cable Guy and Santino Morella.  They're there to promote their Holiday movie and try to get a few laughs.  Dad is a trooper, I gotta tell ya.  This shit is silly but he makes it work enough but seriously, we could all do without.

Justin Gabriel and Fandango then come out to do a replay of their Survivor Series match so, Fandango gets the win in whatever fashion.  Which, brings us to The Big Show, all decked out in his Sunday clothes, to explain why he did what he did at Survivor Series.  The whole problem with this segment is that we know why he did what he did.  He does tend to get his hands tied by financial constraints and blubbers before us to sell it yet, at the same time, that’s the story.  You see where the disconnect may be happening?  We know he’s not really in trouble but get it’s the storyline.  It’s like the WWE is a little kid and we’re going along with their play. That’s how it’s reading, which leads to the exponential climb the WWE has to go through to sell it.  Big Show doesn’t need to explain.  This is a show and not tell moment.  Show him having to live with himself by siding with The Authority.  He should face a similar fate and be repentant.  I personally think he makes a better Face and I won’t fault him for having faults in this case but, this is a time where the WWE doesn’t have to work too hard to build a little story.  Don’t kill it by making us not want to listen.  Nevertheless, Big Show goes on to say how he doesn’t like the flack he’s been getting for his understandable decision and challenges anyone who has a problem with him to come out and say it to his face.  Well, an Erick Rowan hears him loud and clear and has a bone to pick with his cowardice.  Big Show finds this a laugh and teases Rowan, calling him an upside down Sheamus (it is funny they got 2 huge ginger dudes on the roster at the moment) along with other mockeries.  Rowan’s dealt with a lot, I’m sure and one thing he can’t stand is a bully and he attacks! Chasing Big Show out of the ring.  Seeing how Rowan is also a “special” case, I can see this angle easily working Show back to Face-ity but there may be a few Of Mice and Men moments we have to suffer through before that happens.

   

Next on the docket, we have AJ Lee back in the ring to go up against Brie Bella to get a little payback but, in this case, all the payback was on the mic.  They do get to a decent match, though.  AJ will get in there and straddle a bitch like no one’s business but, the Bella Twins are now working in tandem and Brie gets the win with a little help from Nikki.  Well, whatever bitches! Is AJ’s sentiment.  You skanks will never get what I got so go back to slutting it up, it’s the only thing you do well.

After that, we have my other “bestie” in my head, Natalya and her hubby Tyson Kidd out to tango with Adam Rose and The Bunny.  Not much to say really.  It is what it is and you either can stomach it or you can’t.  Yet, I would just say that Creative should really try not to annoy us with this angle.  It’s a fine line, but it can be done.  For what it’s worth however, Rose and The Bunny mis-communicate yet again and suffer a loss.

We have a few more promos and segments before we come to the Main Event!  We have Ziggler we have Cena and we call out Rollins to carry out his fate.  Who will he be partnered with?  *Drum roll* Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury, J & J Security at your service.  It cracks me up that these guys are my height.  I’m not mad at them, though.  If I were properly trained, I’d probably be out there too, not giving a fuck but, I digress.  These 2 provide the comedic relief we thought they would and the 5 of ‘em put on a palatable match.  Nothing too impressive occurs.  It’s pretty much the victorious getting their uppance and so once Ziggler and Cena get the win, of course Rollins plays spoiled sport and tries to storm off only to have Bryan do a little work and toss him back into the ring for Ziggler and Cena to put on the finishing touches. Yet, what are these email notification sounds...someone else has something to say...

It’s no mystery that this RAW follow-up left the lot of us wanting if not completely disappointed.  It’s hard to say how things will proceed.  It’s looking like more of the same, unfortunately but perhaps we’ll be surprised. Yet, if we continue to be unamused the WWE will have quite the dilemma and for some reason, I think that’s a good thing.

See You Friday…

-Nicole Alexis.