GIVING IT TO YOU RAW…What Happened Last Night (Mar. 9th, 2015)

By the looks of this week’s RAW I would say that we probably won’t like WrestleMania, but keep in mind that may be the point.  That’s the beauty of the concept of Kayfabe and the WWE Universe.  We all know that they fly by the seat of their pants sometimes.  No one knows that more than the WWE and so why not account for it by keeping it constantly loosely stitched and thinly veiled.  It will be by default and so, when disaster strikes, you can just say it didn’t or that it was “meant to”. You gotta give it to ‘em. It may be the very thing that keeps it alive.

Well, since RAW seemed thrown together at best last night, I won’t get into it with too much depth.  To be honest, I didn’t pay all that much attention but, saw enough to be able to honestly comment.  I’d say that’s a crux for them but…meh…get the feeling they have bigger problems to iron out at the moment (^_~) In any case we have Seth Rollins and Randy Orton come out and have a chat with the rest of The Authority (sans Stephanie McMahon and Triple H) standing by.  Randy, why can’t we be friends? Whether you like it or not, you’re one of us. Why not accept your fate and embrace the fortified umbrella that The Authority provides? That is if you got time for something other than beer pong.  Well, Orton is not convinced.  The Authority is a fucking joke!  Look at these guys.  Big Show can’t move. No one’s afraid of Dad (Kane) anymore.  And these 2, referring to J&J Security, well look at ‘em.  If I have any choice in the matter, I bail.  Why would I stay?  So just know you got a beating set in my calendar and when it comes, I’ll destroy you…Psych!  Whatever man, let’s just do this. You know I ain’t no good.  See, this is what I’m talking about, says Rollins. Let’s just accept the facts and make this work.  You know we’ll have our hands full with Roman Reigns tonight.  Let’s just team up and beat his ass. Cool?  They shake hands, hug, whatever and that’s that.

We then go into a mediocre match between Daniel Bryan.  Why mediocre?  Because again, it’s all about that Intercontinental Title and the Ladder Match for WrestleMania and the continued hijinks persisted.  Daniel Bryan won the match with his Flying Knee.  Humiliated, Barrett retaliates with a Bull Hammer while Bryan celebrates. Feeling satisfied, Barrett takes his leave and as he does, Dean Ambrose greets him with an unceremonious Clothesline as he makes his way to the ring for his match with Stardust.

I found the pairing of Dean Ambrose and Stardust a little odd but, whatever if Stardust is in the Ladder Match then, it still kinda makes sense.  Since the Intercontinental Title is still the theme, these guys just have a match.  I appreciate Stardust’s character and the effort he’s putting into it.  He stays strange and demented as he and Ambrose go for it. Yet he soon succumbs to Dirty Deeds and Ambrose continues the hunt for the title.

Since this RAW was apparently just slapped together. I won’t go into every match but simply note the key moments in order.  As we all know, Paul Heyman is superb on the mic and this night was certainly one of the best examples of that.  Yet, it all boils down to one thing.  Brock Lesnar is a beast and if anything funny goes down, he’ll kill Reigns.  And so, I suppose we should leave it at that.

From there, the best incident is John Cena, inserting himself into WrestleMania by attacking Rusev after he talks some shit about the good ol’U S of A. Cena comes out, with that “not gonna take no mess” look and dashes into the ring.  In quick fashion, he displays why he’s been on top all these years and believably gets Rusev into the STF and relentlessly holds until Rusev taps out like a little bitch.  Literally. Rusev gently taps the mat.  Cena backs up and then does it again because, we all know Rusev is merciless when he uses The Accolade.  Cena feels vindicated in bitching Rusev out.  So much so, Lana begs and pleads for him to let go.  He can have the rematch at WrestleMania.  Message relayed, he lets go.  And that’s what’s up.

After a few matches, we come to Bray Wyatt’s teaser of a promo.  I did enjoy the theatrics but, the lightening bolt and fire is a little much for the genre.  It’s Sports Entertainment.  Though The Undertaker is awesome, there’s no real paranormal aspect to him.  Yes he’s played up but to allude to superpowers is ri-fucking-diculous if it’s not a movie.  Never mind the Undertaker not actually being there.  How is anyone supposed to take this shit seriously?  Not to mention everyone isn't really sure about his physical shape on top of that.  Like I said in a previous post, it appears the WWE’s biggest problem is reality.

That brings us to the Main Event, Seth Rollins and Randy Orton in a 2-on-1 Handicap Match with Roman Reigns.  Well, what I thought was of note is Reigns' response from the crowd now when he walks through.  His bad-assedness established, everyone respects his space.  Instead of hungrily grabbing and reaching, everyone hopes he allows them access and keeps their distance.  I don’t blame anybody.  Nobody wants to deal with it if they don’t have to.  Not we mere mortals.  In any case, with a not too surprising double-cross from Randy Orton, Rollins is left to get absolutely demolished in quick form.  Then Orton proceeds to finish him off to the point he needs to be carted off in a stretcher.  That’s what he thinks about that. 

I’ll be honest with you, Enthusiasts.  WrestleMania may very well crash and burn but remember, they may “intend to do that.”

See You Thursday,

-Nicole Alexis (^_~)