PUTTIN’ THAT SMACKDOWN. What Happened Last (Tuesday) Night [Mar. 5th, 2015]

Well Enthusiasts, Smackdown did what it could, given what it has to work with.  With many of who worked RAW seemingly taking a night off, a reduced staff took to the job of keeping things moving as we head into WrestleMania.  I wasn’t impressed with anything but it was a solid show.  I get the feeling that we really won’t get anything too exciting from Smackdown until the end of the month which makes perfect sense.  Out of respect for the brand, I feel the WWE will be most itself at this time keeping Smackdown second fiddle to RAW.  And so, it will be up to RAW to set the pace and raise the bar each week so that We the Audience are at least curious enough to want to see how this all will actually play out.

The evening opens in Washington D.C. and Dolph Ziggler comes out to greet us.  His gripe, the Intercontinental Title: he like so many others has not gotten a rematch for the title he lost.  That’s one of the reasons he stole it.  His plan to solve this?  Being in the big ass Ladder Match that’s shaping up and you know who else should join him?  Fucking Daniel Bryan!  But before he can fully elaborate on that, Wade “Bad News” Barrett comes out and he’s none too pleased.  Oy!  I’ve had e-bleeding-nough of this!  That you’ve got on your shoulder there belongs to me and you know it!  I want you to return what’s mine!  Yet, the special bad one, Luke Harper remembers he had the title once and since everyone’s in a scramble for it, he decides to play along and throw his hat in the ring.  He and Barrett close in on Ziggler and an informal beat down begins.  Well, Dean Ambrose doesn’t mind a little petty larceny on his rap sheet.  He enters the fray to back Ziggler up.  As they all fight for it, R-Truth continues the hijinks by not too sneakily stealing the title belt again.  He tries to sneak backstage but Barrett sees him and tears himself away from the melee to confront him.  Though R-Truth plays dumb, he has his moments and manages to psych Barrett out to keep the belt and make an escape.  This wasn’t a bad opening.  I do find the Intercontinental Championship Belt hijinks entertaining and though a little corny at times, everyone appears to be selling it, which I can’t complain about.  And with everyone involved being a solid wrestler, they don’t really have to focus on the matches until WrestleMania, which I also agree with. There’s plenty of talent so we can fill up a little on the “entertainment” as they focus on the big payoff.  As long as they keep it interesting or at least funny, I don’t think most of us will mind.

To follow, we have a brief tag team match between Cesaro and Tyson Kidd and Los Matadores with Natalya and El Torito on the sidelines respectively.  This match is quick but some good stuff goes down. I especially thought Cesaro going into The Swing and Tyson Kidd finishing with a kick was a good combo.  Yet, as per usual with this duo, Tyson Kidd gets shady and he and Cesaro take the win.

After that, Dad (Kane) and Ryback get into it a bit and my issue with it is the same it has been with Dad’s booking.  I don’t mind him helping the kids get over but he needs to be a threatening opponent.  If the Authority is going to use him as an enforcer, we gotta wonder how things are gonna play out.  Dad still has the ability to put a hurt on and seeing how he is getting on in years, he should be even meaner because he can’t be fooling around and this goes double for guys like Ryback.   He can take it and Dad can dish it out.  I don’t mind him staying somewhat campy in the promos but when he’s in the ring, he has to kill!  That will make it matter when he’s in there and We the Audience will pay more attention as opposed to channel surf or go do something else for a bit because we know he’s gonna lose.  What’s the point?  I still say make his general record 50-50.  He should show us his "Authority", right?  We should wonder and wince.  In any case, they do a steady big man’s tussle and Big Show comes out to maybe help but since he and Dad got in each other’s faces a bit in a previous promo, it’s hard to say if his intentions are sound.  Dad thinks the same thing and keeps an eye on him, even shares some words.  This is all Ryback needs and when Dad turns back around, he greets him with a Meat Hook and that’s all she wrote.  Peeved, Dad gets himself out of the ring and faces Big Show.  Since you like to help, why don’t you get your big ass in the ring and deal with that!  With a sigh, Big Show makes his way up the steps and gets in the ring.  Yet, Dad sticks to The Authority Way and distracts Ryback for Big Show to KO Punch him.

Moving along, we come to a Divas Match and naturally, #GiveDivasAChance comes up.  According to the Bella Twins, they were the only ones doing real work while AJ Lee was out on "vacation" and therefore if anyone deserves a chance it’s them.  Well, of course AJ Lee has to come out and Paige accompanies her.  They’re “friendship” may be tenuous, but in the face of the Bella Twins, they’re united.  AJ and Brie then go at it and it’s a decent match and way longer than usual so, the WWE may keep their word on this one.  The ladies tussle pretty soundly.  The moment of note for me is a miss actually, when Brie attempts a dropkick from the top rope and eats it.  Looks like she really took that hit.  AJ does eventually get Brie into her Black Widow and Nikki starts to do her sisterly duty to intervene but Paige denies her and AJ gets the win.

That brings us to a bit of camp with The Miz and Damien Mizdow dancing with Kofi Kingston and Big E. Langston of the New Day.  The Miz continues to be a nightmare for Mizdow while Mizdow gets all the acclaim.  This persists during the match and The Miz jealously kicks Mizdow out of it.  Distracted doing that, Langston gets the jump and ruins The Miz’s day with the Big Ending.

We then come to Roman Reigns’ promo and it’s standard issue and that is the big problem.   Man, I mean seriously the WWE comes off like it doesn’t know what it’s doing with these and that is a little sad because if it is Vince McMahon ordering these for him, then he’s kind of acting like an Emperor with new clothes and we can all see that he just doesn’t get the point anymore.  Now, if these are just drawn out kayfabery and Creative is actively trying to bury Reigns as part of his “story” then I can maybe accept it and they may script it like that at some point just to save themselves but ultimately, the problem we have is that if Reigns is green on the mic, they have to rethink how they do these.   After pulling off something like he did on RAW he can officially run with the badass title whether anyone likes it or not so, he should act like it.  A true badass doesn’t need catchphrases or gimmicks.  All a badass needs is to be badass.  I understand if promos just come with the territory and so if he has to do ‘em, fine but make them work for him given where he’s at.  Paul Heyman called him out, said Lesnar’s gonna eat him for lunch and pick his teeth with his bones.  Reigns should basically respond with something along the lines of we’ll see what happens when we get in the ring and walk off.  Leave Byron Saxton or whoever standing to send it back to the announce team.  It would make perfect sense to make Reigns seem like he doesn’t have time for this bullshit at the moment.   He’s gotta go train for WrestleMania, get his head right all that shit.  The superfluous stuff should fall to the wayside because if all this wasn’t scripted, it would.  That leaves the door open for whatever to happen at WrestleMania, keeps people from getting turned off by him trying to pull off acting and keeps We the Audience interested instead of taking bets on how the WWE is gonna fuck shit up this time.  I have no idea why they don’t want to do themselves a favor….PS: The contacts should probably go as well or get switched to something less intense.  Unless the WWE is going for True Blood with him, all it gets is Reigns lumped in with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.  He’s already got enough bad press.

Next up, Rusev and Jack Swagger battle it out and it’s actually not a bad match.  Swagger actually looks like he may put a dent in Rusev and Rusev reminds us that big guys can jump.  He launches himself up to land a few dropkicks and Swagger manages to get him in a Patriot Lock yet that Rusev is relentless.  He breaks Swagger down after grabbing the ropes and then settles into The Accolade and Swagger taps out.  For the moment, putting these 2 together makes sense but Swagger should be thrown a bone at some point. Cornfed does a good job with Rusev and I get making Rusev seem unstoppable and Rusev does a great job in his role as well but, like with Dad, we should at least start to think something else might happen or you’ll just get people tuning in during PPVs and NXT.  Doubt that’s what the WWE is going for though, they’d probably take it.

After that, Curtis Axel comes on the big screen doing his best Hulk Hogan impression to push AXELMANIA!  I still feel like Axel will come into play with WrestleMania the only question is when.  My money still has him jobbing for Seth Rollins after he cashes in.

This leads us to our main event match that was foreshadowed at the start of the evening with Luke Harper and BNB facing Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler.  R-Truth sits in again on Commentary.  Seeing how the WWE may get a lot of part-time and new viewers for WrestleMania season, these 4 amp up their personalities a little more rather than focus on executing the cleanest of matches.  Ambrose sets himself at a respectable yet noticeable mid-level crazy, Ziggler puts a little more oomph on his moves, Barrett is more surly and Harper more dazed and special.  I actually thought Harper did his bit the best.  Seeing how he is a bit touched in the head, he pretty much does as he’s seen others do.  He pummels, pummels, pummels, looks to the crowd and growls/mugs as many wrestlers do but he does it his way, with empty eyes and no real ceremony.  It works.  As for the match, it’s a good taste of what we may get in the Ladder Match but you know, for the long time watcher, we like to see the sport and it was clear it was a little dialed down in favor of the entertainment.  Ziggler gets the win for the Faces with a lovely ZigZag off of Luke Harper but, there’s little time to celebrate.  Barrett being extra surly tonight means he certainly won’t be made a fool of and he gives Ziggler a face full of Bull Hammer.   He then heads for R-Truth to reclaim his stolen title belt but Dean Ambrose Suicide Dives through the ropes to take him out.  Belt still in hand, R-Truth heads for the ramp but he’s intercepted by Luke Harper but he gets around him and meets Daniel Bryan at the top.  Suddenly feeling generous, he hands the belt to him.  Bryan takes it and leads the crowd in YES! Chants.  But what's this!  Stardust!  He slinks in to attack our hero and take the belt for himself.  Guess he'll be in the Ladder Match too.  Yes, it’s a little more camp than I care my Smackdown to have but hopefully it’s for the Greater Good.

We shall see...

See You Monday,

-Nicole Alexis (^_~)