CRUISING IN THE FAST LANE…What Happened Last Night (Feb. 22nd, 2015)

It appears that going in blind seems to help when it comes to the WWE.  All I knew was the card going into Fast Lane.  All the promos and lead up matches would indicate nothing in regards to the quality of the evening and with my expectations decidedly at “0” all the wrestlers had to do was perform well and I have to say there really wasn’t a bad match.  There may have been spots of undisputed disinterest but the WWE can’t really be too surprised at that.  The product has been more or less mediocre for years and if the prime directive is just to get asses in the seats as opposed to keep them entertained, they should be glad they got at least that.  Yet, they can’t expect too much growth and can simply hope to maintain with that tactic. It’s these simple truths that I hope prompts the WWE Creative team to do what they should have been doing and sit down and really flesh out a long-term game plan that validates all the pomp and circumstance.  We may have settled the WrestleMania headliner debate but I feel the real meat of the matter has been exposed.  Why should anyone care?

We’re in Memphis, Tennessee for Fast Lane and the crowd is lackluster.  So much so, one wonders why they even bothered to buy tickets. Nevertheless, the first match of the night is that big ol’6-Man-Tag with Dad (Kane), Big Show, and Seth Rollins against Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan and Ryback.  Since we’ve seen this merry-go-round more or less before, there wasn’t much incentive to pay too much attention to it other than to see how Ziggler and Rollins would fair.  They didn’t disappoint.  Ziggler seems to be in the air just about any time he can get and Rollins was as punk-ass as ever but seeing how the Heels have it this time around, once the crowd does show some interest, they’re somewhat turned off due to the prevailing “bad guys”. Big Show does a good job of landing all sorts of cheapshots though, adding plenty of distaste.  Rollins rubs salt in the wound by serving up CurbStomps for all until, Randy Orton gets the nod and busts up the Heel Party!  He’s not empty handed because he has RKOs for everyone too.  Yet, he wants more of a piece of Rollins but Rollins, true to form, bails and I guess we wait for RAW to see how this proceeds.

Just a quick side note on the opener, I had streaming issues right towards the end of it and I wasn’t the only one according to the Twitters. I had to see Orton’s return on the flipside this morning.  I was using my new laptop to watch last night and so, to suffer a glitch leads me to think that the WWE may want to rethink their Network approach, at least when it comes to Pay-Per-Views.  I certainly don’t mind throwing down a flat, no-commitment $9.99 for a PPV but seeing how even with our new-fangled devices, they’re still subject to interruptions that are just less likely to occur through a cable/TV feed, I would suggest that they lower the prices of their PPVs on cable so that they set themselves up to make a slight profit.  My thinking is, if watching a PPV like Fast Lane were say, $19.99 (WrestleMania could be like $29.99) to watch through Time Warner, I’d probably pay it just to not have to deal with possible streaming issues.  Yet, seeing how it’s like $50-$60 instead, of course I suffer through possible breaks in transmission for $10.  Granted, I didn’t have too many other problems watching for the rest of the evening but it was aggravating and I figure having an economical PPV option would help the WWE’s numbers in that regard because I’m sure there’re a lot of fans who would pay a little more just to have uninterrupted viewing.  Until streaming on the internet is as solid as watching TV, it might be a tactic worth investigating.  Doubt it would hurt, is all.

Anyway moving right along, we come to the feud that wasn’t in the Brother vs. Brother bout of Stardust vs. Goldust.  Even with their dear, old dad in Dusty Rhodes on hand to push the family angle, no one really cares about this match or feud.  I have to place blame solely on Creative here.  Stardust has really come into his own with his character reboot and Goldust has been doing this long enough to make it work enough but with their preceding set-up relatively ill-conceived, We the Audience find ourselves more interested in our next beer or what have you. Regardless, Goldust professes that the only way to bring Cody back is to beat the Stardust out of him.  He kinda does this by gaining the win via Crucifix Pin but the execution didn’t have much pop and with an already dead crowd the match came to a very anticlimactic end.  Cody does manage to add some “zing” backstage where he decides to rewrite the finish and attacks Goldust in front of Rhodes Sr. but, like I said, most have long stopped caring by that point.

         

The next match made up for the last one, though. Tyson Kidd and Cesaro faced The Usos for the Tag Team Title.  Though we’ve also seen plenty of this on TV and will probably see it again tonight, they took it to the PPV Level as we’d expect.  I have to give props to Kidd doing all he could to inject life in to the Memphis crowd.  Memphis is certainly not letting the WWE back into its heart without putting it through paces and I don’t blame them.  We’ve all been griping about the problems and though Fast Lane wasn’t a disaster, ‘twould be folly of the WWE to think that a strong recovery would be quick in coming. They, just like anyone else, will have to do the work.  Yet, you can’t say that The Usos and Kidd & Cesaro aren’t doing their parts.  Execution is clean for this bout and exciting.  It spills out the ring and one of the Usos tags Kidd with a half-Samoan Drop into a barricade at one point, which I found amusing but it’s Kidd who gets the last laugh by locking in an involved pin.  Though they play for the Heels, it’s hard to say that Kidd and Cesaro don’t deserve the Tag Team Titles.

Before the scheduled wrestling continues, we have Triple H greet us in street clothes.  You remember him calling out Sting, well now he’s here to have his “confrontation”.  I mentioned on the Twitters that it was odd to see Triple H in civilian wear.  I’ve actually gotten used to him in a suit and remember that a lot of the kids out there probably don’t have much cognizance of when he actually wrestled.  Makes me feel old.  Yet, he’s still got some good years left in him, more than enough to handle Sting in his opinion.  He calls Sting out to get this whole thing over with and Sting, obliges without much teasing at all.  Triple H sets the scene.  There used to be a rival operation in the form of WCW that was everything the WWE supposedly wasn’t and Sting was its brightest star.  It’s there that “The Icon” manifested.  Well, it was guys like Triple H who took that flagship out and now look at where we are.  Well, Triple H can’t overlook Sting.  Hell, he’s with the WWE now for a reason, isn’t he.  So, why don’t we try to make nice.  I’m sure, if you come over to the Dark Side, we could make some room in the Hall of Fame for you.  You’d like that, right?  After all these years, finally get the credit you’ve always deserved.  Yet, if you decide to continue with your vigilante ways, well I can beat you down right here and now and we can all forget you ever existed.   Well, we’re not surprised that Sting doesn’t take the bait and Triple H is ready for it.  H tries to cheapshot it first but Sting has plenty of answers for that so H stumps him with his microphone fist to the face.  He then regresses back to his old days of doing this for a living and lands on Sting to lay punches down like rain.  He tried to tell him.  Triple H gets out the ring and looks underneath the apron to find his “Old Faithful” in his sledgehammer well, Sting has his trusty bat.  I also said on the Twitters that I’d think the sledgehammer would beat the bat in a true match but…you know, anything goes in the WWE Universe.  Sting was quicker on the draw, though.  He smacks H in the gut with the bat and Scorpion Drops him to make his statement.  We’ll pick this up at WrestleMania.

To follow, the Divas have at with Paige battling Nikki Bella for the Divas’ Championship.  This actually wasn’t a bad match.  Nikki dominates for the most part being a bit thicker than our pale ingénue.  She pretty much just roughs Paige up, which is fine.  I didn’t really have much invested in the outcome of this match but it was pleasing to see the ladies put on a decent one.  Nikki definitely has accepted her Heel status well and legitimately comes off like the female version of a guy you can’t stand but would fuck anyway. You know, the kind of encounter you’re not proud of but those accursed weaknesses (^_~) She has sex appeal but of the “better off not doing it” kind. It doesn’t stop her from retaining the title, though.  After Paige attempts to roll Nikki up for the win, Nikki keeps on rolling and takes some of Paige’s tights with her for the pin.

Following that, we have the Intercontinental Championship bout between Dean Ambrose and Wade Barrett.  I would have to say that this was a disappointing match.  The lead up was juicy enough so, I was expecting an exciting exchange but it comes off kinda sloppy.  It starts off fun enough, though with Ambrose chomping at the bit, ready to go but naturally, Barrett wants to slow things down.  He’s here to wrestle not thrash around in frenzy.  That doesn’t stop Ambrose and he comes at him with elbows.  Barrett tries to shut Ambrose down early with a Wasteland but Ambrose is too crazy to quit.  He then pulls out his other finisher in the Bull Hammer but Ambrose dodges it and almost rolls Barrett up for the win.  They continue to dance and Ambrose tries to get whatever hits in he can. He executes his Dirty Deeds and Barrett decides he doesn’t want to keep playing if it’s gonna be like that and slides out the ring.  Ambrose doesn’t understand why Barrett doesn’t want to play and tackles him with a dive through the ropes.  He continues to pummel Barrett and the referee calls it since Ambrose isn’t playing fair.  Barrett retains the title via a disqualification but word doesn’t really reach Ambrose.  He’s gonna give all the hits he can and then, seeing how the IC Title Belt is unattended, Ambrose takes it with him for safe keeping.

 

That brings us to the US Championship match between John Cena and Rusev.  This match was just tiresome.  The whole time I just felt exhausted.  I’m not sure if that’s a testament to these guys carrying the match or if it was just a tiring affair.  Cena does show that he can still throwdown and that’s not really an issue.  The same issues are what keeps Cena in his own purgatory and so, Cena basically comes out and does what Cena does.  He tries to Adjust Rusev’s Attitude, apply a few STFs but Rusev, Super Athlete that he is, finds a way to power out of what Cena’s got.  Yet, with all this effort and athleticism, Rusev resorts to an underhanded move and just blasts Cena in the balls to set him up for The Accolade.  In no condition to defend himself, Cena passes out and Rusev continues to be an unstoppable brute.

And so, we come to the Main Event, Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns.  This was actually a very interesting match, mainly because the crowd chooses no one really, making it a true competition.  We the Audience basically bid these fellows to entertain us and they did not disappoint.  The question would be who would the better man be?  To be honest, both parties stuck to their strengths.  Bryan does what he can to out-wrestle Reigns and Reigns does what he can to overpower Bryan.  It makes for an engaging exchange.  I enjoyed how Bryan goes in ready to box.  He knows what he’s up against and he does a great job of selling "assessing the situation" and figuring out a way to contend with the fact that Reigns is simply the bigger, stronger guy.  It starts out a little disconcerting because it’s clear that Reigns intends to just muscle his way through this one, which is realistic.  I suppose that’s what sold me the most about this match.  It comes off as one would figure.  Reigns certainly is no match for Bryan when it comes to submission holds but, conversely Reigns could just kick his ass.  And in the end, that’s basically what he does.  I actually felt a little bad when Bryan gets grounded and pounded.  Reigns doesn’t hold back and We all kind of wince.  Bryan is still just getting off that injury and though it adds to the drama, going in against Brock Lesnar you don’t really want a “delicate flower” as your best hope.  I’m sure Bryan would resent the comparison but it’s easy to draw and nowhere was that better demonstrated than in the final moments of the match.  Bryan doesn’t get hurt anymore than he would in any other match but his ass is certainly handed to him and that, settles that. Don’t get me wrong, though.  These guys put on a great match that had the ebb and flow that a PPV match should so kudos to them both and Reigns can breathe a sigh of relief.  People may not like it but, he’s over for the most part so, now all he has to do is focus on holding it down.  Leave it to Creative to figure out a way to make this all interesting. That’s their job anyway (^_~)

Let’s see how they keep it going.

See You Tonight,

-Nicole Alexis.