GIVING IT TO YOU RAW…What Happened Last Night (Feb. 16th, 2015)

And so, true to form, RAW gets our interests piqued for Fast Lane but for what exactly?  What can we expect to be entertained with this Sunday night?  Will it be compelling?  Will it be epic?  Or will it simply leave us wanting?  The WWE track record would have us prepare for the last option but, who knows.  This week’s RAW was not entirely predictable and the twists and turns didn’t really assist as it simply mixed things up, which doesn’t hurt but allows them to break even in a different manner, I guess.  I will wait until Smackdown before I decide to feel any one way about Fast Lane, Enthusiasts.  Yet, given what RAW presented, I would say the question now would be are we going to be surprised, underwhelmed or severely disappointed?

We’re in Orlando, Florida to begin the “Go Home” trek to Fast Lane and we have John Cena to start things off.  As you remember, he’s set to box Rusev at Fast Lane and has to tag him back for that cheap shot he took last week and we should take note of that.  If Rusev is so big and mean, why does he have to take a cheap shot at an old geezer like Cena?   Would someone “unstoppable” need to scratch someone’s eye like a catty, little bitch!  Hell no!  Someone who’s unstoppable comes out and destroys.   Rusev doesn’t destroy.  He says he “crushes” and he has but he’ll also throw dirt in your eye to do it.  Anyone can do that.  But seeing how Rusev is the punk-bitch that he is, Cena can’t take him lightly.  So, his plan?  Take the fight to him.  Well, with all this chatter, Lana and Rusev feel it’s time to make their appearance and downplay the bad press Cena’s giving them.  We don’t know how lucky we are.  Rusev is the greatest US Champion ever, mainly because he comes from a country that is better in just about every way.  Naturally, he would be the best champion.  Rusev adds he’ll crush Cena and Cena says, My ass!  Before you know it, Cena’s putting his strategy into action and landing blows to the Bulgarian Brute.  He returns the favor of getting slammed into the LED wall and serves Rusev up a taste before slamming him back down on the ground.  The referees stream out to keep this from getting out of hand.  We still need to have a match on Sunday, remember!  Well, according to Cena, Rusev better check himself.

  

We’re kept moving with Dean Ambrose, trading in his jeans and wifebeater for a suit to give us his version of the News.  What’s headlining tonight?  Wade "Bad News" Barrett will sign the Intercontinental Title Championship match contract so that they can throw down at Fast Lane.  But first, Ambrose has to kick Luke Harper’s ass.  Our special Heel doesn’t take too kindly to the assumption of his ass getting kicked, though and comes at Ambrose aggressively.   Harper lands quite a few good shots living up to his reputation of pulling no punches.  Ambrose definitely took a big ol’boot to the noggin that had him seeing stars.  Yet, Ambrose dishes it out too and manages to connect with a solid DDT at one point.  But it’s his signature, Dirty Deeds, that does the trick and now, he can focus on Barrett.

To follow, we get to a match that could have been intriguing but for whatever reason, wasn’t.  As most of us know, the faction of Gold and Stardust is crumbling, mainly due to Stardust erasing the line between fantasy and reality and absorbing his alter ego as opposed to staying true to his roots of being “Cody Rhodes”.   Well, with this disconcerting transformation in effect and ratings flagging, the WWE bring in Dusty Rhodes to somehow bring solidarity back to his sons.  Galactic euphemisms aside, the one thing they have to remember is Family.  That’s worth more than all the stars in the sky.  Stardust is able to agree to this and the father and sons embrace before the brothers enter their match with Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods of the New Day.  Well sir, Stardust seems to make good with Goldust but Kingston flips his high-flying style into high gear and this makes it difficult for the Brothers to get a read on him and strategize.  In an attempt to get themselves together, Kingston is able to land a Trouble in Paradise to Goldust’s head, allowing the New Day to take the match.  Stardust helps Goldust up, checks to see if he’s okay and then lands a Cross Rhodes to his brother, showing how he really feels.

The next match proves to be fodder for what happens during the main event. We have Dad (Kane) set to dance with Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan joins in on Commentary. The match itself wasn’t much to look at though, I enjoyed Dad keeping to his “big and mean” resurgence and being ruthless against Reigns. He had no problem roughing him up and that’s great! Though Bryan speaks more about how his Heavyweight Championship was stripped from him, I found his pensive demeanor humorous. As if he should be puffing on a bubble pipe or something while he slowly strokes his beard and watches on. As for Reigns, he seems to take a page out of my book when I have to fight Sagat in Street Fighter 2. After spearing Dad, outside the ring, he takes his time getting back in, earning the win via Countout. Since I always play with Chun-Li, you have to get crafty with certain opponents and Sagat being such the bitch that he is, you gotta figure something out if you’re gonna get to Bison. I tag him hard early and then dodge everything else until time runs out. Granted, Reigns doesn’t have the variables I have to contend with but, you can see how I agree with the tactic (^_~) Anyway, though Reigns gets the win, Bryan has the crowd and they applaud him more for just being there.

Next up we have some “fluff” mixed in with our Divas action as Paige doesn’t so much suffer a “wardrobe malfunction” as “misplacement”.  Her wrestling gear has disappeared, thanks to the Bella Twins and she’s forced to ask Cameron for a favor.  Cameron, who’s best at being a bitch, says sucks to be you and trots off.  That leaves Paige to hope for a friendly Rosebud.  Paige, a little late on her entrance, comes out in this Candy Land inspired get-up that makes her look like some Goth kid at a Princess Party.   Fortunately for her, she’s up against Summer Rae again so, she doesn’t have to worry about anything happening to the costume.  After some flailing about, Paige locks Summer Rae up in her PTO and gets the win despite her…predicament.   The Bella Twins come out to point and laugh but Paige shows that all she’s gotta do is win and she can do that no matter what she’s got on.  Get the feeling the same couldn’t be said the other way around.

Moving along, Seth Rollins apparently is getting tired of carrying around the Money in the Bank briefcase and is contemplating upon when to cash that sucker in.  He shouldn’t need it to get into WrestleMania but, with so many hacks about, he’s gotta take what he can get.  Truthishly, Enthusiasts I think a smart move would be to have Rollins cash in at Fast Lane.   I think the bulk of us are expecting some sort of WrestleMania dust-up but I think cashing in at Fast Lane, especially if Reigns gets the win, would make for a better lead-up and keep We the Audience appeased.  I was skimming some headlines over the 3-day weekend and one of them suggested that Ric Flair said that fans should be “patient with Reigns” but, We didn’t want him pushed.  The consensus was/is that he needs time.  I don’t think any of us are against waiting for him to find his groove.   It’s the WWE that want him over yesterday.   That’s why we’re in this mess.   If Rollins cashes in on a victorious Reigns at Fast Lane, that sets up a potentially gnarly rivalry between Rollins and Reigns that may just give the one he’s got with Ambrose a run for its money.  If properly executed, they could set the scene for Reigns to go batshit!  Rollins would need real security, feel me?  Then we'd have a party.  Reigns could possibly miss WrestleMania and this perhaps provides the foundation for a more organic push for next year but…we’ll see if they do anything like that.  More than likely they'd opt for a Fatal-4-Way match under those circumstances. *sigh*

Anyway, with Rollins thinking he’s hot shit and J&J Security standing by to support and reinforce his delusions, Dolph Ziggler comes out to remind him of some unpleasant truths.  Like Valentine’s Day could have gone smoother, huh *wink-wink, nudge-nudge*.  Nothing stings quite like love, right?  Or maybe that’s the problem.  Parents never got around to giving you some pointers on the “Birds and the Bees”?  Rollins though bristling, brushes Ziggler off.  Whatever, man!  You’re nothing!  Nobody even cares about you!  Well, I’d say these people care about getting awesome wrestling, Ziggler retorts.  And that’s what I give ‘em every time I’m out here and I’m gonna give ‘em a taste right now!  These 2 put on great matches and this one is no different.  Right off the bat, Ziggler locks Rollins up into a submission hold and it’s on from there.  They go for each other’s throats and the referee does his best to run a tight ship.  He even bars J&J from ringside so that this match can at least finish cleanly.  Though, this leaves Rollins feeling naked, having been recently, fully exposed, he feels he can handle things himself for once and focuses on the match.  These 2 continue to pummel each other yet, Ziggler lands a ZigZag and it looks like the win but J&J just can’t hold back and they break and dive in, landing blows to Ziggler.  This prompts the cavalry in Ryback and Erick Rowan and though overkill, it’s the thought that counts and they beat the 2 little troublemakers down so that Ziggler can celebrate the win.

After this, Triple H and Ric Flair find themselves in the ring to have a talk about Sting.  Fitting and understandable for our lead in to Fast Lane but, seeing how Ric Flair is unpredictable at best on the mic nowadays, this promo was a little odd to watch and listen to but, I suppose gets points for its place as a testament to "wrestling storytelling".  This is how the “story” gets moved along sometimes and when it works it works and when it doesn’t, meh, it passes time.  Flair was more coherent than usual for the duration of this “chat” so, he probably only had a couple of drinks beforehand and he manages to make some interesting points.  One of which being that Triple H is a great “wrestler” but, he doesn’t wrestle much anymore.  In Flair’s opinion, H should focus on what he did/does best, wrestling.  H pushes Flair down.  Look here, old man!  I eat, sleep, breathe and bleed the WWE.  It’s all I stand for.  It’s all I am!  And if Sting thinks he can just come through here and “WCW” this place…he’s got another thing coming and it’s coming this Sunday...and we’re left to chew on that.

Next, we have The Ascension, seeming to go back to decimating lesser Tag Teams when they are pitted against Darren Young and an Unknown Partner.  Young has been at the center of some controversy of late seeing how the WWE opted to prevent an International Incident by leaving Young off the Abu Dhabi tour.  The UAE deems homosexual practice illegal or at least it is heavily frowned upon and punishable by law.  This is a delicate issue and I understand both sides yet, I have to lean towards the WWE on this one.  It’s unfortunate a lot of the world still has catching up to do in this day and age but this is a matter of culture and diplomacy which, quite frankly, is no place for the WWE unless it concerns its own.  I would say that this match was the WWE’s way of making it up to Young for as The Ascension lay waste, Titus O’Neil charges in and suddenly, the Primetime Players are reunited.  Together again, they eject The Ascension from the ring and one of our Tag Team standards is back.

The following match was kind of annoying in my opinion.  True, it was supposed to be because The Miz was doubling up the douche-itude for this one.  Let's just say that The Miz may have done too good of a job in that respect.  With Damien Mizdow facing “Bad News” Barrett, The Miz has to be extra demanding in order to keep attention on him.  For whatever reason, Mizdow tries to do 2 jobs at once by wrestling Barrett and “personal assisting” The Miz.  While returning to the ring after shining The Miz’s shoes, Barrett lines up his Bull Hammer and cleans Mizdow’s clock for the win.  Yet, before he can raise his arms in triumph, Ambrose – slick little devil he is – zip-ties Barrett’s hands around a turnbuckle and forces him to “sign the contract” stipulating their Intercontinental Championship bout.  In order to get free and to keep RAW going, Barrett complies enough and we have another official match for Fast Lane.

Afterwards, we have a couples’ dance with Naomi and Jimmy Uso against Natalya and Tyson Kidd.  This was a Ladies' Choice, certainly as Naomi and Natalya show some great interchanges and holds. Kidd does his “little shit” routine so well, he’s kinda moving into Rollins’ territory.  He would tag out just about any chance he could so he wouldn’t have to worry about getting beat by Jimmy.  It's similar to my Sagat defense actually yet, more “punked-ly” demonstrated.  Yet, it’s Naomi who, after some reversals, manages to keep Natalya’s shoulders down and gets the win.  Natalya, continues to be portrayed like Meg from Family Guy and gets scolded by both Cesaro and Kidd for sucking.

This brings us to the 2-tiered main event that begins with Daniel Bryan and Big Show going at it.  Roman Reigns will “sit in” beside Commentary.  I say that because he didn’t really speak, which is fine, but catered to the fans with the best seats, signing autographs and tossing out merch.  As for the match, it’s another long, drug-out, affair with Bryan doing all he can to wear the behemoth that is Big Show down.  He puts him in a sleeper hold even, just hoping he goes down and stays there.  He gets Big Show a little woozy but, he soon gets to his feet and the match carries on.  It even spills out of the ring and that’s where Reigns gets involved or rather, is included.  Perhaps to get him out of the way, Big Show decides to spear Reigns who responds with a Superman Punch, causing a disqualification in Big Show’s favor and prompting Bryan to go, “What the FUCK!”  Reigns looks at Bryan basically asking him what he’s going to do about it and Bryan says, “This!” and attacks.  It’s so on with these 2.  At this point, it feels like both of them had it with trying to play nice and they just have at.  These guys close the evening with brawling.  They make up briefly only to fall into it again and refs trying to keep 'em separated.  I liked Bryan’s intensity.  If we remember, Bryan was kinda nuts before he blew up.  He had that pseudo-meltdown with Dad/Kane, thinking everyone else thought he couldn’t be a great wrestler because he’s too small.  The whole “B+” player thing so, we know he can get a bee in his bonnet about that “insecurity”.  As for Reigns, he simply has shit to prove and that isn’t necessarily Bryan specific.  His is a challenge more far reaching than the rivalry at face value.  He has to fight more for the “privilege” to fight.  Will that ultimately be the deciding factor?  Can’t say yet, Enthusiasts.   Let us wait for Smackdown and then proceed to “batten down the hatches”.

See You Thursday,

-Nicole Alexis.