GIVING IT TO YOU RAW…What Happened Last Night (Dec. 1st, 2014)

It would appear that the RAW faction takes offense at being at the bottom of the totem pole because last night’s show was better than most.  I would say it was the best since the “Season Premiere”.  It wasn’t a great show mind you, simply better than usual and more or less on par with last week’s SmackDown and so, someone is issuing out some constructive criticism and RAW Creative appears to be taking it to heart.  Well, that is promising but there’s still a long way to go.  Nevertheless, RAW was a rambunctious outing this week, doing its duty of whetting our appetites for TLC coming up in about a couple weeks.  I’m sure I’m like many of you that canceled their free trial for November because the product, though I enjoy it, is still not at a place where I’d like to subscribe.  Yet, the WWE seems to be stumbling around in the dark trying to find a workable solution.  The podcast with Vince McMahon and Steve Austin seems to be living proof and it may be an indication of a direction that may prove effective for the WWE in general.  Yet, until they find that “magic formula” that injects the franchise with new life, I’ll be holding onto my money but I appreciate the effort in producing a better product.  That’s all I was really asking for in the first place.

This week’s RAW begins with Michael Cole serving as voice to the Anonymous GM that continues to issue out edicts in an attempt to maintain a sense of order to this flagship of anarchy that RAW supposedly devolved into.  Yet, John Cena comes out and basically does what the crowd hopes and I’m thinking and closes the laptop these obnoxious emails hail from.  I mean, seriously, if no one knows who the “GM” is, why is everyone compelled to follow this person’s orders? But whatever, as Cena starts to make some sense Seth Rollins makes his way out with his new back-up squad Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury a.k.a. J & J Security.  Rollins basically starts to go into some spiel about how he’s still the hot shit around here, how he owned Survivor Series and that this GM BS needs to go and The Authority need to be reinstated, because people not being able to see how he's awesome is nothing but a crime and a shame.  All Cena can do is pull half the crowd at least Rollins is hated and amazing 24/7. Cena comes back with some flat retorts only to be interrupted by the persistent Anonymous GM who announces a match for TLC.  Rollins vs. Cena, if Cena loses, number 1 contender for the Heavyweight Title goes to the winner. Well, that’s all Rollins needs to hear to make his move for world domination and he begins his attack on Cena with J&J to assist.   Dad/Kane must have been close by because all of a sudden he ends up in the ring and Chokeslams Cena with no remorse.  That prompts Ryback to come out and serve as reinforcement to his new compatriot, Cena.  Since he and Dad are gonna go at it for TLC, they’ve been pretty ruthless in these preceding days and I like it.  Dad is getting booked like he should at the moment and Ryback being big and mean, makes for a nice clash of the Titans sort of thing.  As Dad lays into Ryback with a “steel” chair, Erick Rowan brings his big, special self out and starts decimating anyone in the ring until Big Show storms out to put a damper on that.  This gets Dolph Ziggler into the mix, ready to get nasty and he pulls out a ladder only to get laid out by Luke Harper, a late arrival to this party.   The Heels take their sore loser-dom out on our Heroes and punctuate it with Seth Rollins showing he can act like a big man, with lots of help, by slamming Cena through a table.

Next on the playbill, we have some Tag Team Turmoil, the first I’ve seen to be honest.  It’s kinda like "last man standing" only with tag teams. The first up is Gold/Stardust up against 2 of the 3 New Day members in Big E. Langston and Kofi Kingston.  The Brothers Dust opted to go in swinging but the New Day are a fluid unit and in high flying fashion, eliminate them.  Next to challenge are Cesaro and Tyson Kidd, accompanied by Natalya.  At first I was a bit baffled by this pairing but it worked better than I thought it would.  Kidd is a fleet-footed, little wrestler and matches the technique of Cesaro well.   With some clean execution, fancy footwork, and a dastardly assist from the Dust Brothers, Cesaro and the Kidd get the win in the second round.  This brings The Usos to the ring for round 3. In a long exchange, with The Usos taking to the air as needed they take this this round with some razzle-dazzle.  Adam Rose and The Bunny then come out for round 4.  Well, these 2 may have had a chance but, you know about all the in-fighting they’ve been having lately and this night was no different.  The Bunny tried to assert himself a little with Rose but only the Rose has Rosebuds and so The Bunny soon accepts his place.  With that sorted, Jimmy Uso resumes play with a Superkick to Rose and Jey finishes with a “splash” and The Usos come out of the Turmoil unscathed.

To follow, we get Erick Rowan and Big Show in the ring.  Previously, Rowan spoke with Tom Phillips backstage and we got to know about Rowan a little.  He’s not so much “special” as he is misunderstood.  He’s got the IQ of 143, an expert at guitar, and could possibly be a sommelier if he so chose.  So, aside from pursuing another line of work, what is this beef between him and Big Show?  Well, to put it simply, Big Show is a bully.  And so, here we are to watch them square off in the ring.  Show lets us know a little bit about him, as well.  He’s embracing this Heel-turn and you know what, he loves being a bully.  He’ll be a bully to Rowan all day.  Rowan’s game to see if it’s true and these huge dudes go at it.  Seeing how they’re ginormous and all, naturally the “steel” steps come into play and Big Show throws the fight to get nasty.  Rowan picks up the disqualification but, takes some illegal hits with him in the process.

We then encounter a few asides.  GrandDad/Vince McMahon decides to stop-by to promote his podcast interview with Steve Austin after the show.  Fandango and Jack Swagger are then announced to dance next and Fandango and Rosa Mendes just happen to have some moves yet, Swagger never makes it out there.  Someone has assaulted Zeb Colter backstage and that calls for action.  Swagger takes the forfeit and Fandango and Rosa Mendes exit with a flourish, which gives way to Lana and Rusev, still upset about the humiliation they were put through last week by Daniel Bryan.  Well, they’re ready to make a pledge of allegiance now, seeing how Rusev is still US Champion.  Why don’t we all pledge to the country that helped make it possible.  The Russian flag drops down and they begin.  Yet, there’s at least one person who can’t stand this and that’s Jack Swagger but not only because of the affront to our great nation but the assault dished out to his wise counsel, Colter.   Pissed to high heaven, Swagger comes out and Rusev meets him with referees streaming out to keep the two separate.

After the kerfuffle dies down, we get some more TLC card updates.  We can expect to see The Miz and Damien Mizdow and The Usos throwdown that night, for sure.  But first, Mizdow is going to have a taste of Fernando from Los Matadores.  The Miz decides to take a seat on commentary.  The match itself wasn’t much to speak of.  Mizdow continues to steal the show with his mimicry and this night is no exception when he goes into a Figure Four lock that The Miz is known for.  Fernando says, no more and the match is won.  But soft, what’s this?...Jimmy Uso is coming out and he looks none too happy.  Could this be because of that friendly/flirty chat The Miz had with Naomi earlier in a promo?  Probably, because Jimmy Uso serves The Miz up a fine 5-finger sandwich that knocks The Miz out his shoes.   He should be more respectful of the man’s wife (^_~)

We check the docket to see that up next, we have Bray Wyatt and Mr. R-Truth.  Well, Wyatt took his time but eventually squashes R-Truth and goes on to call out Dean Ambrose in his wayward way.  Before his debatably necessary tale concludes, Ambrose finally obliges Wyatt with his presence and then the madness really ensues.  The 2 box and since Wyatt felt it fitting to fill the ring with tables and ladders and chairs, to illustrate his tale, there’s plenty to choose from in terms of administering carnage.  After some pummeling, Ambrose feels a table is needed to complete his masterpiece of destruction.  He sets it up nice for Wyatt but, our “Eater of Worlds” retreats his sloppy self out the ring, taken aback by Ambrose’s unhinged ferocity.  With no one to beat, Ambrose takes to destroying the repurposed weaponry.  He even reduces Wyatt’s faithful rocking chair to fireplace kindling, maddening Wyatt unbearably with each strike.   What will Wyatt do with this one? Who can say, who can say?…

We then go into a Divas’ match with The Bella Twins up against AJ Lee and a partner to be chosen by the WWE Universe.  It turns out Naomi wins the vote and she happily stands on AJ’s side.  The Bellas act as heinous stepsisters to Naomi’s Cinderella in this match and she didn’t even ask to be here, she was elected.  Well, Naomi “elects” AJ to get in there and she doesn’t disappoint.  She goes into her flying straddle and just erupts crazy onto Nikki Bella. Call her Kilauea ‘cause she spits hot lava!  And after all that, she gets Nikki into her Black Widow and Nikki taps out like a good Bella.   Maybe she’s finally found someone she can (kinda) work with?

We then take a moment to have a little talk.  Paul Heyman, the advocate for Brock Lesnar, comes to us “via satellite” from the WWE HQ in Stamford, CT.  He explains, as deftly as ever, why Mr. Brock “Gun Jack” Lesnar isn’t at RAW tonight.  Isn’t going to be at TLC and will basically show up whenever he damn well pleases ‘cause he’s “special”.  He’s earned the right to be a main card draw and by-gum, he’s gonna live life like it.  So, suck on that.  Haters are gonna hate.   Personally, I don’t really mind Lesnar being absent.  The Titles are arbitrary, anyway.  They don’t really have any clout but, given the current roster, I would say it’s fine in the limbo it is.  Rollins is whatever because as long as he has the Money in the Bank clause, no one’s gonna really see him as a threat.  Cena’s old news, Randy Orton’s had it, Daniel Bryan’s out and everyone else either hasn’t fully proven themselves, are irrelevant to the action or won’t ever be in contention.  So, I don’t mind Lesnar sitting on it until some real action heats up and it’s interesting to have it in the pot again.

To close, we have another 6-Man-Tag with, Dad (Kane), Seth Rollins and Luke Harper taking on John Cena, Dolph Ziggler and Ryback.  This was actually a kinda juicy match.  The players took their burgeoning beefs pretty seriously, Dad and Ryback, especially.   As you all know, I love Dad.  He’s the only Heel I really like.   Maybe because he’s been around for as long as I can remember and in that longevity has become like family, hence the affectionate moniker, but sometimes it’s easy to see the wear and tear on him and sometimes, these melees make that all the clearer.  Sometimes, I can see him set-up just a little too early with the smaller guys like Ziggler and it’s a bit of a shame because it breaks the rhythm, thus creating a lapse in the suspension of disbelief.   Fortunately, these are just passing moments and it gets quickly erased by other stuff going on.  Dad was merciless with Ryback, though and that I don’t mind because look at him.  He should be able to take it.  Cena was also more acrobatic than I’ve seen him, launching a drop kick for once.  He also showed he still has some oomph to him as well by hoisting Dad up a few times which, we all can attest, isn’t an easy feat and Cena was open in showing the distress.   Cena even took a stage dive off the ropes into everyone at one point.  Not used to these sorts of antics from him but if he’s got it in him and doesn’t hurt himself in the process, why not?  Fly until your heart’s content! Ziggler was solid and Rollins did his punk-ass duties but, even when Ziggler managed to pin Harper for the win, the brawl continued.  Big Show comes out to hand out some residual pain yet, now with Show comes Rowan and the other big ginger comes out to get a little retribution and he does with some “steel” steps. Cena goes in apprehensively to offer a hearty handshake for his help and not one used to kindness, Rowan takes the offer in a brief but respectful manner.  I kinda like the slight show of character by the two.  Gives us a little to look forward to in developing Rowan’s persona but for now, we can rest easy as our Heroes stand victorious this time around.  Guess,  it’s up to SmackDown to keep it going.

See You Friday,

-Nicole Alexis.