GIVING IT TO YOU RAW…What Happened Last Night (Dec. 15th, 2014)

The Revolution is upon us, my friends.  And I have to say, it couldn’t have come at a better time.  To be honest, it’s because of recent events that we have suddenly been brought to now.  I suppose we can thank NXT the most for this change of pace.  Their raising of the bar is forcing the WWE to reconsider itself.  In its healthiest manifestation, it’s the infusion of friendly competition.  In its less honorable form, there’s the obsessive urge to stay on top of the heap and save face.   How can the WWE do that when it’s obviously been shown up?  It’s a question it hoped to answer with this week’s RAW.

We have a special treat tonight!  Chris Jericho, good ol’Y2J himself is gonna general manage the night’s events in Detroit, MI.  Yet, before he can get fully settled in, there’s the niggling matter of that Slammy he won for the Most Extreme Moment of the Year.  Somewhere around here, Fandango’s lame ass has it and Jericho would kindly like it returned.  He calls for Fandango to show himself so that this matter can been tended to once and for all and instead, we get a Mr. Paul Heyman.  But, Jericho’s all right with that.  He actually has some business with him too.  Apparently, Heyman owes Jericho $200 from way back in the ECW days.  Well, Heyman would have to see what he has on him but in the meantime, what about that jerk Seth Rollins, huh.  He sure doesn’t have a problem with stomping around here talking all sorts of mess, does he.  Wouldn’t you know it, we just happen to have Rollins on hand with his now dutiful back up in J&J Security.  Rollins gets in the ring and gets all up and in Heyman’s face, basically asking him if he has a problem and Heyman, politely creates some distance between himself and Rollins, for he is merely an advocate when it comes to these matters and would want no part of fisticuffs.  Rollins understands.  He’s a very understanding guy, people don’t realize.  Yet, let’s talk about a matter that continues to chap Rollins’ hypocritical hide.  Why can’t John Cena win a match without help?   Rollins (falsely) won the match but it took the intervening Roman Reigns (he’s back, by the way) to clinch victory.  Well, obviously this is all because Rollins’ skills in the ring are so superior to Cena’s that there was no other way he could have won.  That prompts John Cena to make his entrance and tell this misguided little boy to get ready for his seat at the kid’s table this Christmas, ‘cause that’s all he’s good for.  Yet, before Rollins starts picking out a bib, Cena would like to have a rematch but wouldn’t you know it, he doesn’t have the power to set up a match.  Where, oh where could he find someone who does.   Well, look here!  Chris Jericho happens to be standing right here and he just so happens to be General Manager tonight.  How’s about it, GM?  Whaddaya say to a rematch with the Cen-ster and Rollinsy?  Jericho is with it but he thinks he can make it interesting.  How’s about we make this rematch, a steel cage match!  We’re good with that and so we have it.  The main event is now set.

For our first match of the evening, Dolph Ziggler and Erick Rowan have at Big Show and Luke Harper.  This wasn’t a bad Tag Team match.  It was more like the Heels turn to come up with the win.  Ziggler continues to sell it like there’s no tomorrow and Big Show’s been doing this for a while now so, he knows what he has to do.  The newcomers in Rowan and Harper get to throwdown a bit but, though the eventual idea is to get them to feud…not quite sure how the WWE is gonna do it in a way that’s engaging.  My vote is still for the Ren & Stimpy route.  Have it be over cheese or a log or something.  Nevertheless, the match tumbles into bedlam quite quickly with the highlight being Rowan showing some more flexibility and skill than anticipated by executing a fairly clean spinkick to Big Show.  Yet, that’s not enough to get the win.  Big Show has enough and lays Rowan out with KnockOut Punch for the win.

Next up, we have ourselves a Tag Team Divas match with The Bella Twins versus Alicia Fox and Natalya.  The match was more like a match so, I do like that the Divas are being given something to actually do wrestling wise.  And for once, Nattie got the win so, though there wasn’t much impetus for the match, I like how wrestling is starting to figure more with the Divas so, that’s encouraging.

After that, Jericho has himself another segment of his Highlight Reel.  Tonight’s guests, Lana and Rusev.  Most of this was Jericho making fun of the 2 with cheeky, off-color humor but, that can happen from time to time.  Lana tried to have none of it but it came off more like haughty flirting.  Once Lana got Rusev up to speed on Jericho’s taunts, he musters up what English he supposedly has little of and tells Jericho to stop being dumb or he’ll find out what happens to the stupid in Russia.  Before, Rusev gets too riled up for a fight, Jericho happens to have someone willing to assist in relieving Rusev of his built up aggression.  Out comes Ryback, hungry as ever and Rusev, suddenly has to check his schedule to see if he does in fact have time for this and he and Lana make a hasty exit.

For the next match, The New Day is in action against the Brothers Dust with Kofi Kingston on commentary.  I like Kingston.  I like him so much, I’m overlooking my chagrin regarding this New Day gimmick.  True, these guys living to be the Sun to brighten our lives and wrestling is a bit tame but there are kids to cater to in this market.  I suppose everyone has their niche.   Yet, though there’s supposed to be a feud brewing with the Brothers Dust, interest for it appears to be in short supply given the crowd’s response to this match.  I’m just saying, not sure who’s really supposed to like this stuff except for them.

To follow, a bit of fluff as Adam Rose and Rosebuds make their way backstage and in their travels, befriend Dad (Kane).  Dad has a problem with acts such as these.  Always has, always will.   And what really grinds his gears, now he has to go out and have a match with this joke.  Rose seems to shrug it off as nicely as he can but once these 2 are in the ring, Dad is merciless.  Has no patience and takes no time in dispatching Rose.  And when The Bunny tries to help his frienemy out, he just gets some of what Dad's dishing out too and they both get Chokeslammed.  Yet, even with them thoroughly decimated, Dad’s not done.  He takes The Bunny and ends him with a Tombstone Piledriver.   I wish they used Dad like this regularly.  I know that with him getting on in years, he’s used more as a device to put these yougins over but, like I’ve said, Kane is the demon.  Though, he’s dressed like Dad, they should let him lay waste more often so it actually matters when someone gets the jump on him.   Simple story structure people, not looking for an Emmy.

Next on our list of events, we have Chris Jericho out and ready to dance with Paul Heyman in a fan chosen Street Fight for the $200 from back in the day.  Well, Heyman comes out looking like he’s ready to party but, in true Heyman fashion stalls and delays, even offers to cut Jericho a check and call it a day but oh wait, why don’t you have a dance with BRO-CK LESNAAARRR!!  "Gun Jack" found some time to take a short flight over to Detroit to say hello.  People can bitch and moan about Brock Lesnar’s part-timedness all they want.  He gets a good response and it is exciting when he’s around, even if it is for a few minutes.  Jericho, having been in the game a good minute as well, doesn’t back down and takes a few shots at The Beast to Lesnar’s seeming surprise.  Yet, Lesnar makes quick work of Jericho so that we’re all reminded why he’s only here some of the time.

Well, Fandango, true to form, decides to make his appearance now, seeing how Jericho is suddenly indisposed.  He certainly won’t mind if he comes out with Rosa Mendes and Jericho’s Slammy for a quick, little, stilted dance number.  He mocks Jericho ‘cause he can but what’s that music?!  We search the stands because that usually means that Roman Reigns is in the house and yup, there he is. Though Fandango has something to say, no one really hears it because he’s brutally speared and basically left for dead on the ring floor.  Reigns, almost seems remorseful at the carnage he just unleashed upon him but, oh well.  We’re all pretty sure Fandango had it coming.

Yet, someone else has a bone to pick with our recovered fallen soldier.  Big Show remembers that at TLC, during Reign’s triumphant return, he had the nerve to “put his hands” on him.  Big Show doesn’t appreciate that.  Not one bit.   Well, if Show wants to get in the ring and talk about it, all he’s gonna get is “punched in the mouth”, says Reigns.  What?!  Oh hell, no!  And Big Show, clearly not afraid, approaches the ring and once in striking distance, does indeed get punched in the mouth.  Rattled but not laid out, Show takes the hit but not without talking mad shit and Reigns spits it right back so, yeah.  This is the beef at the moment…

Following their cousin, The Usos present themselves as Jimmy Uso is slated to settle some of this feud with The Miz, Damien Mizdow at his side.   The match was all right.  Jimmy was far more focused than usual, given the lead up and The Miz continued to be douchy and fake as we’ve come to know him.  For added drama, we can see that Naomi is watching the match backstage.  The feud makes the match fun and Mizdow continuing to ham it up on the sidelines has the crowd amused so, when it comes to entertainment, one is not disappointed.

We then come to the Main Event!  John Cena and Seth Rollins square up for a Steel Cage match.  The match was actually way better than I would have ever expected.  Rollins and Cena have started develop some chemistry and I think the added fodder of having to not suck helped.  There was plausible offense and clever defensive reversals, especially implemented by Rollins.  The comedic embellishments of J&J Security doing everything “evil henchmen” ought, also helps in building animosity towards Rollins.  And let me just say, that Rollins is phenomenal at being a Heel.  He definitely graduated from Triple H’s School of Heeldom because he seems to do everything possible to get you to not like him.  Soon he’ll be stealing kids’ lunch money and eating steaks outside of Vegan restaurants.  This effort to be so dislikable makes seeing his ass get kicked feel soooo good.  And when it seemed Cena actually has a handle on Rollins, Brock “Gun Jack” Lesnar reappears to dismantle our hero in callous form.  Rollins, a wise man, opts to play dead until The Beast moves on. A smug Heyman watches on and when it’s all said and done, with Cena left lifeless upon the mat, Heyman looks to Rollins.  Rollins makes it to his feet and Heyman quite deliberately, offers his hand.  Rollins, looking to do all he can to be the most hated of them all, shakes it.

  

Your turn Smackdown…

See You Tonight,

-Nicole Alexis (^_~)