GIVING IT TO YOU RAW…What Happened Last Night (Jan. 12th, 2015)

Greetings, Enthusiasts! So, how did you like the weekly “Evil Dead” RAW downgrade?  As I said in my previous post, the WWE is listening, watching and trying to appease us and last night was living proof.  As I’ve theorized, though RAW Creative is giving it a solid “college try”, they still come up short to last week’s Smackdown but, as with Evil Dead II, though definitely not as good as Army of Darkness without it, we wouldn’t have got there so, there are some good bits and this week’s RAW did its best to reboot in a way.  But alas,  it’s still not quite hitting the mark.  Yet, the effort is definitely welcome and I hope it continues.  Even though, I get a sneaking suspicion Smackdown will come back around and show ‘em how it’s done but in the meantime, let’s enjoy what we got.

As we open in New Orleans, John Cena comes out to set tonight’s tone.  The crowd, as usual, is more against Cena than for but I think as time goes by, some of us do this more for fun than anything else.  I’ve stated how I don’t have a problem with the man yet, I don’t really root for him either.  Anyway, Cena basically doesn’t know why The Authority thinks they can get away with treating people like they do.  They fire 3 good men (Ryback, Dolph Ziggler and Erick Rowan) out of spite and keep him around to wallow in it.  What kind of sick, sociopaths do something like this?  Well, all’s not lost WWE Universe.  We can get them back.  All we have to do is start a Movement.  And that movement should be fronted by #TheAuthoritySucks.  So, hop on the Twitter or any form of social media and state your opinion.  Should The Authority stay in or get out?  And on top of that, to prove he means business, you can bet your ass he plans on winning the title at the Royal Rumble and once he does, he’ll stay his ass home and they can figure out how to deal with that!  Naturally, at about that time, The Authority make their appearance.  John, what’s all this negativity towards us?  You’re the one who selfishly put yourself before your compatriots and you see what happened.   Good men lost their jobs because you chose to ignore what’s best for business.  Do you think we wanted to fire those gentlemen?  Of course not, but to show that we’re not completely heartless, why don’t we give you a shot to get all their jobs back.  How’s about this, why don’t you battle our boy, Seth Rollins in a Lumberjack Match?  You win, your boys get their jobs back.  Fair?  Well, Cena being the quintessential Face that he is, accepts the challenge and our first match of the night is set.

This set up wasn’t the most compelling but it does its job of continuing the main storyline in place.  Though, I’m never big on ones that involve “firing” someone because we all know it’s an angle they’re playing so it’s hard to invest yet, most of us just want to get to the action anyway so, this may be why Creative feels it can half-ass it a lot of the time because, half of it, we’re not even listening.  Well, if everyone’s fine with that, cool but if Creative actually wants to hold our attention, they’re going to have to stick to more succinct storylines that pack more punch.  Though, I’m sure Ziggler and company will get big pops when they’re reinstated, it won’t be the dramatic turn of events that they may actually be going for because we knew this would happen, it’s just a matter of how and when.  I would believe some injury kayfabery over this.  They should strip titles or ban wrestlers from big matches or something so that the consequences are more readily felt and the crowd is more invested in what happens when the tide does turn. But, what do I know?

As for the Lumberjack Match, it’s not a bad showing.  Rollins is definitely showing some more versatility in the ring and Cena I think is just doing his job more or less.  Yet, when we see all the “Lumberjacks” are Heels, it’s pretty easy to see how this match is gonna go.  Any attempt that Cena makes to succeed will subsequently be stopped by a Heel of your choosing.  There are a few times he gets straight jumped and it’s kinda funny actually.  In the end, Big Show basically pulls Cena out of the ring, KO Punches him and he and the "lumberjacks" toss him back in, easy pickings for a struggling Rollins who gets himself over to him to make the pin.  Sorry guys, your extended vacation continues.

Next up, we have the beginning of the mid-card fare with The New Day vs. Tyson Kidd and Cesaro with Adam Rose and Rosebuds on the sidelines.  This match was quick and didn’t serve much of a purpose other than to give us something to watch and continue to push the New Day who, are starting to get some crowd support so, good for them.  They pick up the win via some sort of 2-tier stomp.

Okay now, what happens next is a little hard to sit through but, it gives us some more insight as to what Creative may be trying to do with Roman Reigns and Big Show.  Big Show comes out and has some things to say.  He’s been in the game for a good minute.  He’s laid some big names out.  Fact is, the main reason he’s in this business is because he can just lay fools out.  In all his years of slaying it, he’s come to know what the “real thing” looks like and when he checks that against Roman Reigns, Reigns comes up short.  Way short.  So short in fact, that the only word for him is loser.  And anyone who supports him, guess what, that makes you a loser by default.  Sorry, thems the facts.   At that point, Reigns' entrance music hits and Mr. Reigns has a rebuttal.  It’s a goofy one but he does what he can with it.  Since Show likened himself to a giant, it’s only fitting that Reigns liken himself to a sort of Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk.  I get the analogy.  I can even see how someone would think it would work but it just doesn’t.  Not sure anyone could really make this bit of the script work.  There are rumors circulating that Vince McMahon is writing Reigns’ promos and I kinda find that hard to believe but at the same time, would explain a lot.   Nevertheless, I think Reigns knows that most of the time what he’s saying is utter bullshit and so, to counter I think we got the overly sarcastic tone that he uses to tell this “tale”.  Yet, it just makes him come off as a bit of a dick but, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I think that’s why he and Randy Orton work more or less, they’re basically different sides of the same coin.  But I digress, again.  If this segment was shorter and went minus the tagline at the end, it’d be palatable.  I don’t think Reigns quite deserves the haterade he’s getting over this one.  This was more a matter of writing and Reigns not being comfortable enough yet to make this his own, not that he’d want to in this case.  He’s getting there.

And in his match to follow with Luke Harper, Reigns definitely does.  This was actually a lot cleaner than I’ve seen Reigns since his return.  I get the feeling working with Harper may have upped his in-ring game along with the prevalent criticism floating around.  I liked how Harper was rough with him.  Reigns takes hits like a champ so it’s kinda fun watching him get thrown around.  Feel like I can hit him with a paper plate and he’d make it seem like I went upside his head with a frying pan.  Since these are larger fellows, this would be considered a “hoss match” and power is certainly displayed on both sides yet, as you could figure, once Reigns gets a shot at the Spear he takes it and the match but, Big Show isn’t done with him yet.  Having watched from the sidelines and sat in on Commentary, Big Show decides to finish the match as he sees fit and mercilessly KO Punches Reigns.  He pulls him back up to his feet and pretty much shakes him around, tells him he sucks.  He can’t stand his face, his hair, his bullshit promos (even though he has to do ‘em too) all of it sucks and he can go to hell and so on and so forth.  This is stuff I wanted to see go down with Randy Orton.  Since Orton is the better wrestler, picking on Reigns' skills I think would be great to solidify an on-going feud between the 2 and I’m sure it’ll be utilized to some degree when he gets back but for now, it’s Big Show.

Next up, we have the on-going cattiness between Divas, Naomi and Alicia Fox only this time around, Stephanie McMahon feels we should give it a little twist and decrees that Naomi goes into it with 1 arm tied behind her back.  The thing I like about these 2 ladies boxing is that I don’t even care who wins.  Both sell it well enough that you just want to watch the fight. Yet, Alicia Fox being wily as she is, takes advantage of Naomi’s handicap and quickly gets the win.

Moving along, Brock “Gun Jack” Lesnar is in the house along with Paul Heyman.  Tonight’s the contract signing for the upcoming Triple Threat Match at The Rumble so that’s what’s gonna end the night and elsewhere Ambrose is comically receiving a psychological evaluation, seeing how he’s so gosh-darned unstable.  There's also a lot of "Macho Man" Randy Savage promos run, as well since he got the nod for the Hall of Fame induction.

As for matches, The Miz and Jey Uso go at it for what seems the umpteenth time in recent months only it’s The Miz’s turn to win this time around. But no matter, we all really wanna see the next segment anyway where Daniel Bryan comes out to reconfirm his participation in the Royal Rumble.  Yet, someone else has some thoughts on this too and that person happens to be Stephanie McMahon.  She’s actually growing into her “Queen Heel” persona quite nicely and you can see she has fun hamming it up with everyone, as she should.  I would.  I’d be so devilish!   Anyway, after making a peace offering in the form of her new fitness DVD, she questions Daniel Bryan.  You took quite the nasty beating last time you were out here.  You’re just now getting back on your feet and you want to subject yourself to that torture again?  Are you even ready for it?  Wouldn’t want you to come all this way just to end up in traction again.  Well, Daniel Bryan remains resilient.  He’s always been a fighter, despite being low on the totem pole and isn’t gonna quit now.  Fine!  Stephanie McMahon basically says.  I tried to reason with you but looks like you only understand one thing.  So, why don’t we do this.  Since you’re so eager to get back in the ring, why don’t limber up with a match with Dad (Kane) on this week’s Smackdown.  Better yet, why don’t you limber up now because here he comes!   And down the ramp Dad marches and Bryan, sure of one thing, he’s no bitch, pounces on Dad once he’s close enough and the party starts there.  We the Audience love Daniel Bryan and that showed in this exchange.  Though Dad supposedly took him out, it’s fitting to see them pick up where they left off and the beauty of Daniel Bryan is that we go along with this story angle.   As Bryan courageously battles, we all are a little worried he’ll get hurt again.  That’s exactly where the WWE wants us and in this case, doesn't bother me at all.  The 2 of them end up getting separated by a set of referees and we’re made to wait for Smackdown.

Next on the docket, we have some more Divas action with Brie Bella having at Paige.  This match goes down fast.  So fast, I didn’t see much of it but it ends in predictable fashion with Paige getting distracted by Tyson Kidd’s inane hijinks at ringside, allowing Brie Bella to get the win.   Paige though, can’t contain her disappointment and once she comes face to face with Kidd, promptly smacks him across the face.  He had it coming.  This gives way to another squash match for The Ascension which gets over and done with in swift style.  Since this appears to be the thing with them until someone decides to do something different, all I’ll say is that the WWE may want to invest in some make-up artists to do their face paint.  It looked like they just slapped together a Halloween costume this time around.

After that, we have Rusev and Lana talk some more shit and then battle Dean Ambrose, free and clear from his evaluation.   This was actually an interesting match because how it ended was something I’ve never seen in the past few years.  Given the campy wave Ambrose rides into this match on, it’s kinda clear it’s more for “play-play” than most times.  Ambrose having suffered an “injured knee” in that Ambulance Match with Bray Wyatt, Rusev makes sure to attack it as much as possible.  Though Ambrose’s particular kind of crazy can enable him to override pain from time to time, he gets a bit caught up in that and the ropes, causing the referee to do his duty and end the match to a surprised and upset Ambrose. Rusev remains undefeated but kicks Ambrose afterwards for good measure.  I’m not sure if this was just to mix stuff up or if there’s an actual angle or plot being implemented but it left me intrigued.

While we ponder upon that, our focus is redirected to the ring for the Triple Threat Match Contract signing.  Well, our 3 entrants have plenty to say to each other.  Gun Jack even gets on the mic.  All proclaiming that they will be victorious when all is said and done on Jan. 25th but since we’re all here now, why don’t we have ourselves a little practice dance.  Once the pot gets stirred just enough, Brock Lesnar, John Cena and Seth Rollins go for it to see who really has the big cojones.  The action, as it tends to get, is a bit of mess and a flurry as everyone tries to get their hits in but it’s Seth Rollins, of all people, who gets the jump on both Cena and Lesnar by serving CurbStomps up to both.  I still have a problem with this, Enthusiasts but I see why this was done.  Rollins has to be believable if he’s gonna be in this match but…he’s not.  Not that he’s not selling it, Rollins’ diploma from Triple H’s School of Heeldom hangs high and framed on his wall.  He’s a superb heel, no doubt but, beating Lesnar?  Cena?  Really?  They’ve got like 50lbs on him at least.  I don’t buy it unless weapons or Kung Fu are used.  But whatever, it was an exciting finish for one of RAW’s better outings...mostly.   So, what you got Smackdown?  You can follow that up, can’t you (^_~)

See You Thursday,

-Nicole Alexis.