PUTTIN’ THAT SMACKDOWN…What Happened Last (Tuesday) Night…Jan. 9th, 2015
What’s
up, Enthusiasts? Last night was the final Friday airing of Smackdown, coming to us from Laredo , TX
We open SmackDown
with Seth Rollins and J&J Security coming out to remind us of the favor he
did us all in bringing The Authority back.
He alludes that the only side to get with is the one with power for
that side can do you favors. He helped
out The Authority, now he’s got a shot at the Heavyweight Championship Title at
the Royal Rumble. You know, we ought to
give The Authority more of a chance because they are really trying to do what’s
best for all of us. Unfortunately, John
Cena’s selfish actions has led to 3 good men “losing their jobs ”. Let us take a moment and pay respect to their
passing. Rollins and J&J bow their
heads in a moment of silence that suddenly gets rudely interrupted by Roman
Reigns’ entrance music. Reigns has some
words for Rollins and they aren’t nearly as corny as they have been (thank GOD!). He still needs work though, but he seems to be
getting there. Anyway, Rollins is no
good. We all basically know this, but
Reigns has to illustrate this a little more with his “choice” words but, you
know what? This all basically boils down
to one thing, Reigns kicking Rollins’ ass.
And with no ceremony, Reigns sends both Noble and Mercury over the ropes
and out the ring with Rollins to follow.
The trio scurries up the ramp to get the hell out of there but Dad
(Kane) meets them at the top with Big Show not too far behind. Dad just happens to have some words for
Reigns, as well. You like to come out
here and start shit? Well here’s some
shit for you to deal with. You’re now in
a match with Rollins and Big Show. If
you can get yourself a partner, then we don’t have to handicap this thing. Dad washes his hands of him after that. This opening wasn’t bad. Reigns definitely needs to get more comfortable
on the mic but he appears to do well with the off-the-cuff stuff so, I suggest
Creative loosen the “reigns” a bit and let him paraphrase a little more. I did notice how he did poke a little fun at
himself with daring to say “suffering succotash” but I won’t lie to you,
Enthusiasts. We can still see the words
on the page with him but progress is certainly being made. Like I said a few posts back, he should be
just about good to go by the end of the year or sooner pending no debilitating
setbacks.
The first match of the night has The New Day’s Big E.
Langston against Adam Rose with Cesaro and Tyson Kidd at ringside. This wasn’t a bad match, actually. And it was pleasing to see The New Day start
to have fun with their gimmick. Though
I’m still not entirely sold, if they make it fun and entertaining, it’s hard to
knock. In any case, Rose came out pretty
aggressively with Big E., knowing that he’s gonna have to put a dent in him if
he wants to get anywhere. Yet, Big E.
being the big guy that he is manages to get the win in solid fashion by
executing his Big Ending.
We then have “Gwar Lite” in The Ascension come out and
do a little shit talking, continuing to play up the social media kafuffle with
Lance Storm. Seeing how the Announce Team brought it up as well I think
there may be some kayfabe in effect.
Whatever the case, they squash the local These Guys to make the case
that they will squash any and all local fare! I understand selling these guys
while keeping them in their place but, I think the WWE needs to figure out how
seriously they’re going to book The Ascension.
They can make them more humorous and have them all talk and when they
finally go up against one of the main roster teams have them get schooled or
they can book them kinda seriously and have them go up against like Adam Rose
and whomever else and squash ‘em. My
point is that currently it's really hard to think of them as the Next Big Tag
Team -- though their finisher was cool -- so, I hope this slow build-up has a goal in mind.
Up next, we have Naomi and Alicia Fox continue their
little feud in feisty fashion. These
ladies got in there and went for it! I liked it a lot. They seemed half-serious. If it wasn’t for the venue I’d think they
were outside a club or something. The match was brief and though Naomi
definitely had her fire lit, Alicia Fox snuck in the win with a pin and her
feet on the ropes for leverage.
To follow, we have ourselves a Triple Threat Tag Team
match for the Tag Team title between The Usos, The Miz & Mizdow and The
Brothers Dust. Now, here is where I’m
going to introduce something that may already be common knowledge on the D.L. that I’ve long suspected. I
have alluded on the Twitters that there’s an “Other Audience” that the WWE
caters to and that would be our Alternative Lifestyle brethren. I’ve noticed over the years that the most
homoerotic exchanges tend to occur on Smackdown. True, you can see some pretty “sus” shit on RAW but it’s definitely more acute on Smackdown. Not that I have a problem with this, at
all. Shit, the bulk of my friends are
gay men so…whatever but, I just kinda find it funny that this comes out the
most here. And, that just may be why
it’s better too because no one bitches more than a gay man. Trust me (^_-)
Anyway, the match was actually a lot of fun to
watch though, some of the exchanges were comically sus. Regardless, The Usos tend to be an indication
of good entertainment and their promo earlier had me laughing as usual. These cats crack me up. The way they come off, I feel like they grew up on
my street. I woulda been at one of the
barbecues. They’re great! Yet, the one
who stole the show this time around was Stardust, I would say. He’s really been embracing his character
reboot and I like it. He’s developing
into a truly strange yet campy character and that’s always good to see. Yet, my Other Audience conjecture was
seemingly proven when he thrusts his crotch in Goldust’s direction. Don’t ask why but it is a bit of thing for
some. I can’t get into it, though. Incest in any regard just comes off as gross
to me. It shouldn’t be done for a reason
but, seeing how there’s no chance of offspring in same sex cases, it’s
certainly less frowned upon. Plenty of
guys want to hook up with twin ladies, ‘twould be naïve to think it couldn’t go
the other way. But I’m digressing. In playful, exciting style, The Usos retain
their title belts.
Next on the playbill, is another thought provoking
match between Sin Cara and Bad News Barrett.
I say this because this match seemed to be a subtle acknowledgement of
Lucha Underground. I’ve given this
gritty wrestling alternative a look and I have to say it is solid. And it being out of Los Angeles jobs so, to see him get the
win may have been a means to keep the Latino market interested. Seeing how Luchadores have a viable option
now in the United States means the WWE probably shouldn’t use them as campy spectacles as much. Though, I hear Sin Cara and The Lucha Dragons
do well in NXT that’s still the respective Minor League. Nevertheless, Sin Cara gets the win in
flamboyant fashion yet, Barrett, Heel that he is, doesn’t take the loss lightly
and attacks as Sin Cara heads back up the ramp. To me, this read as how the WWE might feel
about these West Coast upstarts.
This leads us to our highly anticipated main event
match. Who would go into battle with
Reigns? Why none other than his former
“brother” in Dean Ambrose. Well, of
course we all love this. There’s nothing more fun than Ambrose hungry
for that Rollins ass!...Yeah, that’s a little sus in itself but it’ll be allowed
because what ensues is exciting and fun.
Personally, I never really liked The SHIELD. They just came off like 3 guys who jumped people. Shit, I could get 2 dudes and jump
people. But, seeing how they started off
as Heels, that may have been the point. Yet, now that Reigns and Ambrose have
distanced themselves from the Dark Side, I have an easier time embracing
them. Rollins is a great Heel so, he
gets props for getting it but, by nature of the genre, I must “dislike”
him. Anyway, when they get into it, the
action goes down pretty quick. Dad and
J&J Security come out to try to give the Heels an assist but the reunited 2/3 of The SHIELD are just too much for them
and for some
reason, this feels right. See, we've arrived at the end of the weekly session of Army of Darkness. We'll see what RAW comes up with for next weeks' Evil Dead II.
See You Monday,
-Nicole Alexis.
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