PUTTING THAT SMACKDOWN...What Happened Last (Tuesday) Night [June 11th, 2015]

Greetings Enthusiasts!  Money in the Bank is coming up this Sunday and I have to admit I continue to be lukewarm about it.  Though Smackdown wasn’t exactly disappointing, if I’m supposed to be getting all excited for MITB, I’m not really sure how I’m supposed to do  it through what was presented.  There were a couple solid matches, but in terms of any feuding or story, it all just feels a bit flat.  I don’t mind just having a wrestling spectacle but if that’s what they’re gonna do, they should explicitly state that or develop more of the drama so that we care.

We open in Lafayette, Louisiana and Dean Ambrose greets us with a “title belt” on his shoulder.  As we remember from RAW, Ambrose has been having a great time frolicking around New Orleans with the Heavyweight Championship belt and he takes some time to show us the pics on the “big screen”.  Nice right?  Just as Ambrose is about to continue, a huffy Seth Rollins marches down the ramp.  What the fuck is this bullshit!  You go and take off with my Heavyweight Championship belt and go gallivanting around town with all sorts of New Orleans trash!  Behavior like this is why you can’t be taken seriously.  Stop playing all these stupid games and give me back my belt right now!  Ambrose feels strangely compliant.  All right, man.  Didn’t know you felt that way.  Just trying to have a little fun.  You want the belt back that bad?  Fine.  Ambrose lays the belt down on the ring floor and rolls himself out.  Rollins approaches and steps in the ring to reclaim the belt only to find it’s a toy replica. What the hell is this shit!  Where’s the fucking belt!  Rollins demands.  Yeah, about that, Ambrose begins.  Well, you saw all the fun I was having. I may have gotten a little distracted and  I don’t know, misplaced it.  It’s somewhere...where did we start off?  As Ambrose contemplates, Dad’s (Kane) music hits and he graces us with his presence.  Boys, boys settle down.  You’ll have a chance to duke it out soon enough.  In the meantime, we of The Authority can’t help but be a little disappointed in you.  You couldn’t even hold your own against J&J Security.  You should have handled those 2 little runts with an arm tied behind your back.  Instead, they came out here and taught you an thing or two.  Lack of credibility is bad for business.  And so, at Money in the Bank don’t expect any back up.  Since you’re so sure you can take care of things yourself, why don’t you?  To get you used to the idea, you’ll be going solo against Dolph Ziggler later on tonight.  You boys have fun. 

So, not a bad opening.  Ambrose and Rollins seemed to be enjoying their exchange and it keeps the on-going animosity simmering.  And Dad does as Dad does and enforces the Authority’s will, pretty par for the course.

As for the first match of the evening, it’s Ryback vs. The Miz, which as you can expect doesn’t take long.  The Miz does a slight offense in Ryback style but Ryback shows him how it’s done by laying him out with a Meat Hook.  With the win in hand, Big Show makes his way out.  You know, I’ve been around a good 20 years, so I’ve seen a lot.  Seen when times were bad and when times were good and you know, you’ll have to excuse me if I’m a little jaded.  Not much impresses me any more.  So I have to entertain myself.  And you know, I’ve been having a lot of fun thinking of ways to kick your ass come Sunday.  There’s so many.  I could Chokeslam you through some announce tables.  Hell, I could just plain sit on ya to be honest.  And I could definitely  KO Punch you the only thing about that is that gets the job done too soon.  Well, don’t let that stop you.  A confident Ryback retorts.  I’m here, you’re here.  Show me what you got big man!  You want a piece! Big Show shouts.  You want a taste of the KO Punch! Big Show starts towards the ring and then goes naw...No point in starting this now.   Come Money in the Bank, we’ll see just how much you can stomach.

After that, we get to see Jack Swagger who’s apparently been kept off TV for some reason go up against “King” Wade Barrett.  R-Truth yucks it up on commentary.  The match goes fairly enough.  Given how we’ve seen little of Swagger of late, it becomes clear who the winner will probably be.  R-Truth adds some comedy by stealing Barrett’s kingly wares for a bit, forcing a quick chase around the ring.  His wares reclaimed, he continues the match and ends Jack Swagger with a Bull Hammer.

The next match is solid as we would expect as we have Dolph Ziggler and Seth Rollins going for it as Dad said.  Well, these two continue not to disappoint and put on a fine match.  There’s a delightful sequence where Ziggler connects with a DDT from up top and then transitions it out to the Famouser.  It’s sold very well. Rollins gets some near falls also and I would say this is the most exciting match of the night.   Yet, it’s Rollins who comes up with the wing after hurling himself at Ziggler and then rolling him up for the win.

After that, we have some Divas action with Paige taking on Alicia Fox.  I thought Alicia was nice and bitchy at the beginning with her impatient waiting for Paige to make her entrance.  The match wasn’t too bad.  I feel the ladies sell it well.  Paige is scrappy in her way by tripping Alicia up early and she pretty much controlled the match from there.  She basically just wears Alicia down, preventing her from gaining any momentum.  Paige bounces Alicia off the top rope towards the end and then after tossing her back in the ring, Paige settles into her Scorpion Crosslock for a solid win.  I still don't really believe that this is "her" house but...if maybe she went a little more deranged/delusional with it, I just might buy it.  Nevertheless, I see improved believability in her performance so, I she'll get somewhere with it soon.

We then have the main event in what is the usual 6-Man-Tag with Neville, Randy Orton and Roman Reigns facing off against Kane, Sheamus and Kofi Kingston.  The match itself is actually kinda fun.  It allows everyone to do what you’ve heard them do so, if you were new to it, you’d might watch it again.  My only problem is with the end.   The Faces take the win due to a disqualification but, Dolph Ziggler makes it’s interesting by running out with a ladder to start the real party and the others oblige.  I hate these types of melees because everyone dials it down on selling the action when the brawl ensues.  The point is to set Neville up for the dive off the top of the ladder to take everyone out and claim the Money in the Bank briefcase for himself.   All fine and good but I like the action to maintain throughout.  The “playfighting” is a complete turn-off.  If no one’s gonna really box, what’s the point of fighting?  There has to be a way to keep the action outside the ring real without loosing focus.  Even so, the crowd didnt’ really seem all that enthused at the end as well.  Yet, I did enjoy the delectable heap of men that resulted from Neville’s stunt.  Neville himself was quite “ass-tastic” if I may so myself this evening and so it wasn’t all for naught but the “brawling” needs to look more like it so I buy it.  That way, I’m not so “whatevs” about the whole thing as I am.   Just saying.  Shouldn’t I be jazzed to see MITB?...*shrug* I’ll watch it anyway.  Just ‘cause I can.

See You Sunday,

-Nicole Alexis (^_~)