GIVING IT TO YOU RAW…What Happened Last Night (Apr. 6th, 2015)

Was it the best, RAW?  No, but was it a solid showing?  Yes, it was.  As I’ve said in previous posts, I’m not expecting Emmy winning programming from the WWE, just something that more or less makes sense and reminds me of why I keep coming back for more.  This was a good night for this.  There were highs and lows but not so much hits and misses and this is what the WWE should generally strive for on the regular.  Just put on a good show, something they would like to watch for 3 hours instead of straining to string together that much content.  As is the hope every week, maybe this is a mark of the WWE finally figuring out how to comfortably sustain itself, quality-wise.  I won’t get too excited but I will say that last night was at the very least, promising.

We open in Austin, Texas and this isn’t the best crowd but it gets going when something tickles their fancy.  To begin, we have Seth Rollins come out with The Authority sans Triple H and Stephanie McMahon.  Word floating around is that Stephanie is participating in the Eisenhower Fellowship MNP Program and has thusly been said to be “vacationing” to accommodate the 7-week symposium.  Good for her!  It’s always good to see what’s going on in the Real World, especially with movers and shakers.  In any case, Rollins goes on and on about how great he and The Authority are.  You guys-you guys are just jealous really.  We are a group of achievers.  When we want something, we get it!  When something needs to get done, we make sure it is done.  I wanted to win the Heavyweight Title. I went out and won that belt.  Hey Show, you did pretty well at WrestleMania.  You wanna say something too?  Big Show takes the mic and proclaims he’s the greatest giant there is. There’s no one meaner, stronger, and more take no-prisoners than me!  Everyone just has to step back. I know, that by default I leave a lot of people in my shadow but anyone who thinks they have any shit on me, better recognize!  At about this point, Randy Orton steps out and he definitely has something to say.  Hey there, Seth yeah…you did great at WrestleMania.  You waited for 2 guys to beat themselves up and then jumped in and took them out to "win" the Championship.  Yes, hard fought and well-earned.  But even so, that doesn’t erase the fact that I kicked your ass too and that means I got just as much of a chance at that belt as anyone else.  Oh, blah-blah-blah, Rollins counters.  You might have beaten me, Randy but who’s got the belt.  Yep, take a gander.  Even got it embellished with my logo ‘cause I plan on keeping this a long time.  Whatever!  Orton retorts.  I’m missing karaoke (at the Happy Ending) by being here!  I could be singing my heart out to Great White, “Once Bitten, Twice Shy” but no!  I gotta deal with your punk-ass!   Well, if I gotta do that, then I should have a shot at that title.  Kane!  Hey yo, Dad!  Can you do something about this?  Or is being “Director of Operations” not really mean anything?  You one of them there figureheads?  Just here for posterity or what?  You look here, kid!  Dad (Kane) gets a bit ruffled by this lack of respect.  There are other guys around here that deserve a shot at that title too, so get your pushy ass in line. You know what, matter of fact, why don’t you get ready to take me on, if you want a match so damn bad.  Handle me, and I might just think about a title match.

As openings go, it was long as they often can be.  I don’t mind a little talk before we get into the evening but the WWE should try to get more fun into their starts.  I actually like how someone from each side comes out and sets the tone but these often can get tedious because we’ve got wrestlers trying to half-act and in long-winded fashion.  I’ll just keep saying it until it’s acknowledged.  I think all they need is some shit-talk and a recap.  They do this somewhat but there’s a lot of filler that gets tuned out by The We.  I bet they could get all they needed done in 10 minutes each time out.  Then focus can be better applied to the matches and in-ring story-telling maybe? *shrug* Just another suggestion. 

As for the first match of the night, it was disheartening because Dad continues to job for guys that don’t really need it.  Orton pretty much dominates until Dad goes fuck it! and gets out of the ring to get himself a handy folding chair.  Orton isn’t too fazed and comes after Dad, ready to serve up a RKO but Dad takes a pass.  Dad needs to be “Dad”.  He shouldn’t be starting anything off unless whomever getting served up to him has been getting out of line.  Dad needs to come in and shut whippersnappers down so he’s intimidating again.  Granted, I love Dad’s promo work and how he’s evolving into a “corporate demon” but Creative just isn't making him as interesting in the ring as he can be.  I don’t know why they under-utilize him.  Putting him to good use will only help.  Let him kick ass again.  We should feel like someone’s been fucking up when he comes marching down the ramp. Not like we have time to go get a fresh beer.

Anyway, moving along, we next have an interesting match between the re-tooled Neville and Seth Rollins.  Rollins mocks Neville at the beginning, as it often the “hazing” process of those called up to the main roster. Hey man, I know it’s tough getting out here in front of all these people.  I was once new too, Rollins begins.  Why don’t you get your feet wet a little and chat up the audience.  Rollins holds the mic to Neville but before he can speak, continues the hazing by speaking for him.  Naw, let’s wait for you to get your sea legs first.  You know, when I first came out he– Before Rollins can finish his sentence, Neville shows a little moxie and kicks Rollins in the gut, to basically start the match.  This was actually a nice bout.  Both showed some skill and spunk.  They kept the match more moderately paced so both could display some depth and Rollins, surprisingly, kept this contest mostly clean.  Yet, the newcomer showed some rookie mistakes that Rollins capitalized upon and took the win with a Curbstomp.  Needless to say, Rollins milked the victory.

Next up, we have John Cena coming out to praise ‘Merica! and the US Title.  He gets the patriotic juices flowing with the crowd and proclaims an open challenge for the US Championship on this very night!  Who among the roster is so bold to challenge him?  Why, it would appear that Stardust is.  Decked out in his Mr. Sinister inspired ensemble, Stardust approaches the ring.  Naturally, he’s greeted by heavy “Cody” chants that start to rile him. Yet, he remains focused enough to keep to the task at hand.  This is actually a better match than I anticipated.  Stardust is wily and takes to the ropes and air in smooth, technical fashion, definitely showing that he knows a trick or 2 and Cena manages to break out a few moves that don’t often see the light of day but, in the end it was one of the ol’faithful ones, the Attitude Adjustment, that seals the deal and he retains the US Title belt.

In somewhat predictable fashion, we have a Divas Tag Team match to follow.  The Bella Twins take on Paige and Naomi, now that AJ Lee is out of the mix.  The #GiveDivasaChance continues to be at least placated as the ladies are given a fair amount of time to work.  Eh, I’ve seen the Divas be cleaner but they are getting out there and doing their best to hang with the boys.  With potential call-ups from NXT probably on the way, the Divas Division may get pretty exciting in good time.  For now, though Naomi keeps her eyes on the prize and nails Nikki for the pinfall win.

Afterwards, Luke Harper and Ryback have at and it’s not the best match, which is a bit of a shame because I like Harper’s ringwork.  Yet, Ryback is getting a little underhand push, it seems like and he gets the win in quick fashion.

We then come to some Tag Team action with the New Day’s Xavier Woods and Big E. Langston up against newcomers the Lucha Dragons. I have to say that I’m a bit enamored with the Lucha Dragons.  I enjoy Lucha Underground and it’s nice to see Sin Cara finally getting his well-deserved due.  I find their cheer charming and I can't help but chant along and pump my hands up and down.  I’m a fan!  They make me smile.  And so, I was very glad they got the win though it may add a touch of gray to The New Day.

We look to the playbill and roll our eyes.  Next up is Roman Reigns vs. Big Show.  A collective, “Uggghhhh…” initially permeates throughout We the Audience when we see this but, to be honest, given their tussles, it wasn’t as bad as it could be.  That is for sure.  They’re actually finding some proverbial sugar and maybe some flour and eggs to make use of this huge, burlap sack full of lemons that is this pairing.  Personally, I don’t really get it.  I mean, on paper, I suppose but…meh so, no point.  If they’re gonna do this, Creative needs to lead them into something at least interesting.  If anything, they should focus more on story with them because no one really wants to see these 2 box.  Now, Big Show hasn’t really been holding back when it comes to dealing with Reigns and I like that.  That is fine and should be continued.  As long as Big Show is heel, he should be talking all kinds of shit about Reigns, in promos and in the ring.  Shit, I would too (^_~) Fuck that guy! Jumping around and trying to call that wrestling.  It’s great to be a heel against Reigns.  All the haters get a voice and some appeasement.  And it works perfectly in the end because what does it do, class?  That’s right, play to Reigns’ strength of taking hits!  This could be a fun little “arch nemesis” sort of rivalry if they keep it kinda light and tit-for-tat but…not sure if the 2 of them can fully pull that off yet. Maybe in time, if Creative insists on pitting them against each other.  In any case, Big Show controls the majority of the match but, when Reigns gets his opening, it’s the Superman Punch to the Spear for the win.

The next match is Heel Sheamus vs. a leaner Mark Henry.  Sheamus is embracing the Dark Side and judging by his tweets anyway, he’s going in a direction that I can agree with by keeping a good dose of humor mixed in.  He does some decent work on the mic too, basically establishing himself as the new bully in the locker room.  Well, Mark Henry knows how to handle those.  These 2 throwdown in expected “big boy” fashion, making it clear to each other that neither one should be scoffed at yet, it’s Sheamus with an authoritative Brogue Kick who gets the win and bragging rights.

The penultimate match is a bit of an odd one, given its placement with The Miz and Damien Mizdow.  I can see this being fodder for Extreme Rules but…I guess Creative isn’t banking on great numbers and had the bout now.  We all know the drama betwixt the 2 but, it being The Miz and all, it’s not that serious.  These 2 simply go for it, since there are loads of dirty laundry to air out and both play this up to the crowd.  Nevertheless, The Miz manages to roll Mizdow up with the help of a handful of tights and gets the win.

This brings us to the Main Event.  Instead of some sort of 6-Man-Tag, Creative tries to mix things up a little and test the waters for Extreme Rules with a Triple Threat match between Randy Orton, Roman Reigns and Ryback.  I kidded on the Twitters that this match should have been on Smackdown given its blatant “sus-itude” but, hey.  The Other Audience partakes of RAW sometimes too. Probably would more often if we had more matches like this.   It starts off solid enough with the gentlemen trying to take someone out so that they can have a more manageable one-on-one but it doesn’t take long for the remaining Authority to make their way out to see how they can implement some sabotage.  Reigns sees them coming and takes it upon himself to leap over the ropes and take them out but Big Show manages to sidestep the landing and KO Punches him.  He roughs Reigns up some more and KO Punches him again for good measure.  J&J Security get in Ryback’s face and distract him, enabling Randy Orton to sneak in and land the RKO for the win.  Yet, before Orton can celebrate, Rollins rushes in and Curbstomps him to illustrate who really is the Man!  Well, I actually didn’t mind this week’s showing.  It gives Smackdown something to work with for once and so, like I said at the beginning, promising.  Over to you, Smackdown.

See You Thursday,

-Nicole Alexis.