GIVING IT TO YOU RAW…What Happened Last Night (Apr. 13th, 2015)

Happy Tuesday, to you Enthusiasts!  As you all know, the WWE is doing its British “Grand Tour” of Europe and this week’s installment of RAW was in London, England.  With trips across the pond, come the infusion of soccer traditions and so our raucous crowd chants resemble what you’d hear at a Manchester United match rather than a wrestling show but, I find it charming.  I respect the sport of soccer but I wouldn’t call myself a fan.  Yet, I do enjoy the culture and wish I could be more exposed to the true nature of the fan culture.  I’ll settle for this taste for now but, one of these days I’ll get myself into the belly of the beast.  As for now, I’ll take in my European dose of wrasslin’!

We open a little differently this Monday night.  John Cena greets the crowd to not so much boos but “John Cena Sucks…” in time with his entrance music.  As per usual, the crowd doesn’t really need Cena but, Cena being the seasoned veteran he is, keeps to his purpose and engages the crowd.  Gives them kudos for being a boisterous bunch and suggests that some day, WrestleMania should come to the UK and the fans concur.  I’m not sure how I feel about this but, why not in the future.  Why place restrictions on what can be done.  There should always be new thresholds to cross.  But I digress.  Cena, now with the crowd in more receptive spirits, announces his true reason for being out there.  Let’s keep this open challenge party going!  The US Championship is a hot item at the moment.  A lot of people want a bite.  So, anyone who thinks they’ve got what it takes to win this off me, come out and man up!  We wait a few moments and soon hear Wade “Bad News” Barrett’s music.  The resident Brit certainly wants to win the US Championship in England.  How’s that for a historical middle finger to the face?  In any case, the match is actually a good one.  Barrett and Cena square off and they come off serious, not in tone but in selling their stuff.  Both execute some solid offense and there are some near falls that definitely make it anyone’s match.  Barrett manages to hoist Cena up and deliver one of his Wastelands but Cena manages to recover and serves up a nice Attitude Adjustment for the win. 

But not so fast!  Lana comes out with something to say or really, Rusev makes a statement.  With Cena’s back turned, Rusev lays him out.  Lana then informs us that the rematch at Extreme Rules will be a Russian Chain Match so, they hope Cena can see that.

Up next, we have a Divas Battle Royal for the #1 Contender spot for the Divas Championship.  The ones left standing, Naomi and Paige.  Both ladies dish out some dirty tricks to get the other out the ring but, with Barrett losing in the opener, the London crowd gets some consolation with Paige managing to boot Naomi out the ring for the win and #1 Contender spot.  Byron Saxton then comes out to ask Paige how she feels and she feels great!  She came out and owned shit when she debuted and now she’s on her home turf, continuing to kick arse!  The next arse up for a kicking appears to be Nikki Bella's at Extreme Rules so Paige is focused on getting her boots ready when Naomi, of all people, runs back into the ring and pummels Paige. Couldn’t help but gasp for this looks like a bit of a heel-turn for someone I thought would be face forever.  Not sure how I feel about it but, it does mix things up.

To follow, we have some newcomer Tag Team action with the Lucha Dragons up against The Ascension.  This match went quickly with the Dragons taking it in high-flying fashion but leaving the question of what comes next?  It’s clear that the Lucha Dragons are the WWE’s short answer to the Lucha Underground movement that’s slowly on the rise.  As I’ve stated previously, Lucha Underground does have better content when it comes to wrestling entertainment but, everyone knows about the WWE.  I view this move as a way for the WWE to stay on top, in a sense.  "We’ve got Lucha Libre too", sort of thing.  Well, better content is what’s really needed.  The Ascension could be cool but they’re coming off as jokes and I’m just not sure if that’s intended or not.  We shall see how this sector evolves.  The talent seems to be there, but the direction…not so much.

Moving along, we have Booker T in the ring to have a nice chat with Roman Reigns.  We’ve been made to watch the WWE, for whatever reason, piece together a feud between Reigns and Big Show and this “interview” with Reigns is suppose to further fuel it and it does to some degree because after listening to some, I guess plausible excuses as to what’s wrong with Reigns’ progression to a title, Big Show counters on the “big screen” and then makes a personal appearance to thrash Reigns once the discussion wraps up and uses him as a battering ram of sorts on the prop, old-timey London police car stationed at the top of the ramp for show.  In all honesty, Reigns pulls this promo off, though it still comes off a bit stiff and that’s understandable.  Personally, I feel Reigns’ character doesn’t seem like a type that would “cut promos” per se.  Creative, I think, needs to find a way to get this done and make it believable.  The thing about Reigns is that the kayfabe and reality aren’t meshing very well and a happy medium has to be found so that he takes as a character.  Since it is early on when it comes to Reigns’ development, I understand the growing pains but, We the Audience are very aware of what the WWE is trying to do with him and it’s painfully clear that they are having a helluva a time trying to mash Reigns’ square peg of a character into their round hole of an idea of Top Face.   Something is going to have to give here and I’ll just say that Creative needs to come up with a more interesting angle, especially if they want to stick with this Big Show vs. Reigns feud.  I just don’t buy it.   I don’t think anyone does and Creative should really have a think about this, if they want any part of it to actually work.  Why is this happening?  I don’t buy the beef though I did like Big Show’s bit about wanting to make Reigns the “biggest failure in WWE history”.  I do think an arch-nemesis angle could work but…I would prefer if it went in a more humorous direction, though.  It doesn’t have to be campy but I could see Big Show being intent on carrying out his mission and Reigns kinda throwing it back in his face.  Every now and then Big Show’s plan backfires or Reigns plays into whatever ploy to enact one of his own.  Big Show could be dastardly and Reigns could be wily.  Not quite an Elmer Fudd vs. Bugs Bunny but maybe more like Daffy Duck vs. Bugs Bunny but you know edgier, hopefully.  There should be shit-talk, pranks, downright sabotage and all sorts of hijinks.  If they’re spitting jabs and trying to one-up each other, it could be interesting and could last for however long they want to do it.  It could even be, dare I say, fun to watch.  Yet, Creative has to set them up right and that’s where all the uncertainty arises.  Well, if it helps, they can make it seem like this was the direction they were planning on going in the first place (^_~)

After that, Randy Orton has his hands full with Cesaro and then both Cesaro and Tyson Kidd.  I’m glad Cesaro is getting some singles action.  He’s another guy that has a lot going for him but the WWE just doesn’t seem to know what to do with him.  This match with Orton seems indicative of that.  Cesaro is a great technician and Orton does Orton very well but, I didn’t see much reason for this match.  It goes smoothly enough with Orton getting the win but then Dad (Kane) comes out and says, you know what, I didn’t like that match.  Why don’t you 2 have another one.  Oh, and Tyson Kidd is invited this time around.  Yet, it doesn’t help much because The Viper manages to win the handicap match too.  I guess we’re just supposed to think Orton is awesome, right now. Well, he can be at times but not giving it up here…not yet.

We then come to a random match between Dean Ambrose and Adam Rose.  I’m not sure if Rose is actually British but I see that they are trying to give all the UK talent a fair showing while in London.  Also, we’re reminded that Dean Ambrose is still alive and certainly still crazy.  He comes out and does a quick dance with Rose and finishes him off with Dirty Deeds and is ready for more.

Afterwards, Stardust and Fandango come out and go for it in a bit of fluff. Can you take anything with Fandango involved seriously?  This is fine by me but at the same time, we don’t really have to pay attention when he’s around.  Nevertheless, that doesn't stop Stardust from performing cleanly.  He gets the match over and done with a Disaster Kick but Fandango decides to embellish his loss with awkward dance and the crowd feels like playing along.  So, that’s nice.

What follows, is actually a little bit of drama and to be honest, it had me intrigued.  Dad finds himself in a difficult position.  With The Authority leaders in Triple H and Stephanie McMahon “away”, Dad is left to hold down the fort but with Seth Rollins around, there’s a constant challenge to his power.  Rollins inches in with an idea.  Orton wants a piece of Rollins and he knows that he can kick his ass and take the title.  So Rollins, shady as he is, convinces Dad that it’s best for business for him to take a fall to keep Rollins in the driver’s seat and "undisputed" Heavyweight Champion.   Dad ain’t no chump but, at the same time, he has to cater to corporate bureaucracy and politics.   He gets out to the ring and a smug Rollins waits, ready for Dad to simply rollover but he does not.   Dad teases, though.  He comes out still in his “Director of Operations” suit but once in the ring, he starts to disrobe.   Once down to the slacks, he and Rollins meet in the center of the ring.  Dad eyes Rollins, none too pleased with this scenario but he soon lays down for Rollins to pin.  Rollins gets into position and at the “2” count, Dad pushes Rollins off.  J&J Security try to get Dad to play along, but Dad’s already in a surly mood and ejects the 2 of them by the scruff.  Rollins then gets in Dad’s face and Dad only takes so much of this before he goes Mortal Kombat on Rollins and uppercuts him.  He then Chokeslams him, trying not to lose all of his cool.   Once decimated, Dad lies down and drapes Rollins over him to get Rollins his win and storms off.   I liked this bit of story.   I’ve been saying how I hate Dad’s booking and would like him to be booked more threateningly again.   I know the WWE likes to have Dad take the “mask” on and off but I don’t think he needs it.  He just needs to be Dad.  No more fucking around!  These punk-ass kids need to learn who’s boss.  He should show ‘em.   He can still do it.  I say let him!  This handling of Rollins is a good start yet, will they go there *sigh* I fear not.

We go back to some more fluff with The Miz and Damien Mizdow continuing to feud and now, Mizdow has some arm candy in the shape of Summer Rae.  Mizdow continues to get his payback on The Miz in a quick match and how they keep this interesting, is anyone’s guess at the moment because I’m using these instances for bathroom breaks at times, now.  I’ll pay attention if it’s interesting, though.

A “hoss” fight greets us next with Luke Harper going up against Ryback.  It’s not a clean match but it’s executed in earnest.  The moment of note was a solid kick Harper lands to Ryback’s face early on.  He certainly booted him good.  These large fellows spill out of the ring and Harper takes himself the top cover of the Announce Table and beats Ryback with it, causing the disqualification and carnage but, remember Ambrose with some crazy to spare.  Well, he puts it to use and runs out to Ryback’s aid ready with plenty of fists to pound upon Harper.  Harper, in no mood for that kind of crazy takes his leave, leaving Ambrose with no one to play with again.

The next match is a treat.  It’s Neville vs. Dolph Ziggler and it is amazing!  I joked on the Twitters that an actual wrestling match has no place here but there it is, and it’s great!  NXT followers know that Neville has skill and it is allowed to shine in this bout.   Underdog, Ziggler has earned Our respect and so, this is a match that We the Audience definitely want to see.   These 2 do not disappoint, though I feel I have to point out that what Neville does just about any solid gymnast can but, it doesn’t take away from his awesomeness.  I look forward to seeing what this kid can do.  And Ziggler, Scraps himself, goes out and shows us why he’s so good and after an engaging back and forth, lands the ZigZag for the win.  But what’s this!  Sheamus!  Well, seeing how we’re in the UK and the bad blood between the Brits and Irish common knowledge, naturally he’d come out to ruin the day.  And he quite happily does, dealing merciless Brogue Kicks to both Neville and Ziggler.  He then stands upon an announce table for the crowd to take it all in.

In closing, we then come in with a soft landing to the main event. Seth Rollins and Randy Orton have a conversation in regards to the stipulations of their Extreme Rules match.  Here’s the deal, Randy.  I want a fair fight, just like anyone but, I can’t help but notice you have some distinct advantages and so, why don’t we make Extreme Rules interesting, right?  Give these fine, paying customers their money’s worth.  So, I think it’s best that you don’t use that RKO of yours for the match.  You got plenty in your arsenal.  Try to make do with something else, for once.  How’s that sound?  Rollins eases into a recliner, set up in the ring for this very occasion.  Rollins is really letting being champ go to his head and makes sure he’s comfortable for this exchange.  Orton stays cool.  All right, man.  I hear you.  RKO’s can be hard on the back. I’m sure you can attest to that but, in keeping with making things interesting.  Why don’t I add a stipulation of my own...brosef?  We all know that you have abandonment issues.  Definitely get separation anxiety when Dee and Dum aren’t by your side and I can’t stand them or anyone else in The Authority nipping at my heels when I’m kicking your ass.  So, let’s make this really interesting and make this a steel cage match.  And you know what else?  Let’s give the people a taste right now!  Orton proceeds to upend the recliner with Rollins in it and starts dismantling J&J.  Rollins tries to make a break for it but Orton catches him and breaks open his can of whop-ass.  J&J try to be of some assistance but get themselves ejected in dismissive fashion.  Rollins takes the opening and scurries away leaving Orton still hungry.

So, not a bad RAW.  Fairly solid all the way through, actually.  Guess they cleaned up a bit to visit the old country.  We’ll see what Smackdown’s got.

See You Thursday,

-Nicole Alexis.