PUTTIN’ THAT SMACKDOWN…What Happened Last (Tuesday) Night [Apr. 2nd, 2015]

Hello, Enthusiasts!  As I figured, SmackDown managed to keep this collective WWE ship afloat by coming out and presenting some solid wrestling with a loose plot, sprinkled heavily with cheeky humor.  All I ever asked for, really.  The cats running SmackDown continue to stick to the basic point of why we’re all met and I thank them for it.  Thank you for keeping hope alive.  This faction just gets it and that’s what the WWE needs more of.  If you’re gonna have a bunch of writers, they should all at least “get it”.

The evening starts off with a more rested Seth Rollins greeting the crowd with J&J Security, ever present, at his side.  Now, I know everyone was a little disappointed with Brock Lesnar and I not having our rematch at RAW, Rollins begins.  But, you all can understand jet-lag, right?  I was on a plane more than I was on the ground this past Monday.  You all were lucky I made in at all.  A flight could have been delayed. I coulda gotten snowed in somewhere.  But I made it, because I’m a professional.  Unlike Mr. Lesnar who cares so little for human life.  You saw him destroy everything. Michael Cole, JBL and Booker T all ended up in the hospital.  An innocent cameraman is now in traction!  We can’t have a menace like that representing our company.   Yet, before Rollins can continue to plead his case, Randy Orton comes out with a few words to say.  Look here, bro-ster!  You know that I beat your ass at WrestleMania and that means I can beat your ass for that bullshit title you’re wearing.  Everyone knows that I’m a phenomenal wrestler and deserve that belt more than anyone!   I deserve a fuckin’ rematch and that fact, makes me the #1 contender.  Oh really?  Rollins questions. You’re the #1 contender?  Well, no matter what you think, I’m the one who decides if a match between us happens.  So, you just hold your horses there, broham.   Whatever, man!  Orton retorts.  You’ll probably have to check TweedleDee’s & Dum’s schedules first before you book it.  Not to mention having to check in with Dad (Kane) and then you have to hope Big Show is around to stand outside the ring to take cheap shots.  Just as Orton is getting into his rant, Dad comes out a little miffed as is often the case.  What’s this about checking with me?  Could it be about the first match of the night?  Well, if that’s the case, let me be of some assistance.  Why don’t you get your smart aleck ass into the ring and dance with Big Show for however long it takes for you to lose?  How’s that sound?  Orton stands with his “can’t help but take it” look on his face and walks himself to the ring.

So, Big Show vs. Randy Orton isn’t an ideal match-up in any way but these 2 fellows make it palatable.   Orton backs some of his shit up by controlling the match.  He even manages to pull off a DDT off the ropes.  Yet, as he starts to close in for the win, J&J and Dad jump in to force the disqualification as they pummel Orton.   It appears as if The Authority will leave Orton for dead when Ryback’s music hits and he runs in for the rescue.  Dad and J&J are laid to waste as Rollins takes his cue to bail as he does best.

The next match of the night is a Divas match between Natalya and Naomi.  These 2 always put on a good show and this night was no different.  This match may be a little more pertinent now, seeing how AJ Lee has opted to retire from the WWE.  AJ having been a top Diva, her departure leaves a spot open, so to speak and it looks like Naomi is angling for a Divas Title run, which is deserved as it is for Natalya as well.   Word on the street is that Vince McMahon has some interest in Sasha Banks and Charlotte from NXT, which is promising.  There’s nothing wrong with depth on a roster.  Ideally, that’s what the WWE should strive for.  In any case, with some ample back-and-forth, Naomi gets the win with what I’m hearing is a Head-Scissor DDT, in deft fashion.  The Bella Twins sit in on Commentary on this one and after the match, Naomi makes sure to staredown Nikki Bella for that title.

To follow, The Miz and R-Truth do a brief dance where The Miz picks up the win but as he celebrates, Damien Sandow runs in and administers the Skull Crushing Finale.  This is blatant payback for RAW yet, not sure if they’ll develop this into full-blown rivalry.  The makings are there, not sure about the interest though.

After that, John Cena, our newly dubbed US Champion, comes out with title belt in hand.  He does a “Grade A” Cena promo about the beauty of America and how the US Title represents all that n’stuff.  He does this until Lana and Rusev come out to counter.  Lana begins to berate Cena but Rusev soon calls for the mic.  No-no, this title deserves to be in true athlete’s hands.  This Cena, fading star won no match!  I simply gave it to him and Lana got in the way.  I demand rematch!  At Extreme Rules, you give me rematch!  If you don’t give me rematch, I’ll take the title from you!  Rusev motions for the Russian flag to drop but, no dice.  Cena then steps in.  Oh, are you looking for something?  Could it be this?  And at his cue, the American flag drops down, infuriating a pompous Rusev.

Moving along, we come to a punishment match between Dean Ambrose and Luke Harper.  Ambrose apparently partook of Dad’s “executive bathroom” during an earlier promo and so Dad “grounds” him with a match against Harper.   Harper is merciless in his attack and appears to be evolving.  He’s not so much dead in the eyes any more as dark.  I like the embellishment.  It shows there is method in the madness, which is always welcome.  These 2 prefer to brawl yet, this tactic doesn’t behoove Ambrose due to the noticeable size difference.  Ambrose’s antics do eventually set Harper off and Harper slams him through an Announce Table.  Totaled, the referee calls for the medics and Ambrose is aided out with the DQ win.

This brings us to the main event in the form of Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan.  Apparently, Dolph Ziggler was injured by Sheamus’ assault on RAW and so, that’s supposedly why we have this for the main event.  It was a good match.  Bryan takes it to Sheamus and Sheamus being all bad now, he pulled less of his punches.  To add some drama to the mix, Wade “Bad News” Barrett sits in on commentary to talk up his need to regain the Intercontinental Title.  I’m still not fully sold on Sheamus’ heel-turn but given the match, I can see it growing on me over time.  Yet, I just don’t buy him being bad.  I think he’s a good guy in real life and so…I don’t really want to see him be a heel.  Yet, if they add some good dashes of humor to it, I could love to hate him.  In any case, Bryan takes to the air willingly to knock Sheamus down but at one point, he’s knocked off the apron and “busts” his head open in the process.  Seeing he’s hurt, Barrett jumps up and delivers a Bull Hammer with the referees back turned.  With Bryan debilitated, Sheamus merely waits for Bryan to get counted out and then ritualistically smears his spilled blood upon his chest.  Guess he’s gonna go a bit Celtic during this heel-turn.  Well, I was entertained.  Everyone Else?...

See You Monday,

-Nicole Alexis (^_~)