GIVING IT TO YOU RAW…What Happened Last Night (Apr. 27th, 2015)
With
Extreme Rules over, we now are being redirected to focus on the next PPV,
Payback. There, the Heavyweight
Championship will be up for grabs again and this time around, it’s not so much the
stipulations but who’s invited to the party.
Personally, I’ve lost all interest in the titles because, given the
nature of the WWE, they are ultimately arbitrary. Who wins comes down to matters of preference
and/or crowd approval. I’m not saying
how a title belt is issued should be completely changed. Yet, if I were in charge, I would certainly make wrestlers’ records carry
more weight when it came to booking matches.
Not that the arbitrary nature of staging the action would be removed but
it would be more veiled in “kayfabery” this way, I would think. Makes it seem half-real. Yet, that may not be the point. It’s hard to say if it ever was. All that I know for sure is that We the
Audience will partake of whatever constitutes a good show or time and that is
fine by me.
The
Extreme Rules Fallout RAW opens in Green
Bay , Wisconsin SKO ”, see
what I did with that, and retain my well-deserved championship. And I got one more person to thank,
Kane! Kane, come out here buddy! If it wasn’t for this old “CryptKeeper” here. Get it. CryptKeeper? Ah, probably not. Probably before your time for the lot of
you. Hell, I barely get the reference. Right, Kane, buddy, pal. Well, Dad isn’t too pleased with
Rollins. Not sure he’s ever been but he
obliges Rollins for a bit here.
CryptKeeper, that’s rich. Good
one, Seth. You really keep the zingers
coming. It must be that charming, dare I
say, Justin Bieber-esque personality you continually exhibit. Rollins bristles at Dad’s dig but before much
can be done about it, a riled up Orton storms out from backstage. Hey! This is BS! “SKO ?!” Are
you kidding me! You little cheat!
I don’t even know why I bother taking any matches with you
seriously. Well, if you’re gonna pull
shit like that, I want a rematch! And
not only that, I’ll be sure to beat you with your own lame-ass moves too! Might learn something...bro-ham! Hey, Pops! Man, you really have to get a leash
on this— Before Orton can finish his sentence, we hear Roman Reigns’ music and
wait and watch for him to make his way down to the ring. Rollins rolls his eyes, Roman are you
serious? Why the hell are you out here?
This has got nothing to do with
you. Well, Reigns comes back basically
with that’s not what your Mom said and don’t worry about why I'm out here. The way Reigns sees it, he
took Big Show out, with an announce table even and so, that should allow him a
shot at the title too. Well, isn’t that
nice, Rollins says. 2 losers want a shot at the title. Isn’t that always how it is! Now, wait. Dad chimes in. In my position as Director of Operations, I’m
expected to be fair in my decisions and seeing how Stephanie McMahon and Triple
H have "previous engagements" this evening, why don’t we do this: you and me
against those 2 in a Tag Team Match. As
for the #1 Contender spot…we’ll leave that up to these lovely fans. And so there it is, Enthusiasts. As if you couldn’t guess (^_~)
For
the first actual match of the evening, we have some predictable Extreme Rules
follow-up with Dolph Ziggler trying to forget the face full of lily-white ass he
was subjected to the night before. Yet,
Sheamus is not his opponent. It’s one of
the others from across the pond in Wade “Bad News” Barrett. He’s happy to add insult to injury. The match is more for show since we do have
the carry over and Ziggler and Barrett perform well. But Sheamus does make an appearance towards
the end at an opportune moment. Oh,
Dolph I gotta say. As much as your
dreams didn’t come true of me planting a nice, big, sloppy one on your arse I
was much obliged for your fine example of how it’s done. Ziggler has no choice but to stew with this
distraction, which is fine for Barrett who takes him out with his Bull Hammer.
After
that, we have some more fallout action as Tyson Kidd bravely takes on Big E.
Langston. The size difference here is
laughable but the WWE Universe loves giving the underdog a shot. If it makes
for good TV, it makes for good TV. As
for this match-up, not sure that it gets all the points for entertainment but
it serves its purpose as establishing The New Day or more specifically, Xavier
Woods into Heeldom. Though Kidd manages
to get some kicks in it’s a clothesline from Langston and an ankle-grab from
Woods that keeps The New Day going.
To
follow, we get a little surprise with a revisit of the brief cameo appearances
done by both Ryback and Bo Dallas at Extreme Rules. As you can imagine, it is and was a “squash” type of
scenario but Dallas Dallas Dallas Dallas Dallas
Following that, we get the next installment of John Cena’s Open Challenge for the US
Title. All right, now who’s up for
it! Who wants a shot at The Champ! We wait a few beats and out come a Heath
Slater sporting a new look. He’s chopped
off the red locks and is now going for some douchy-trucker thing. As I mentioned on the Twitters, I'm a little
upset I can't joke and call him Dave Mustaine anymore but, change is the only
constant. In any case, he’s feeling
frisky. Look here, Cena! You’ve had your share of time in the spotlight;
it’s time for someone else to have a chance.
Cena’s up for it but Rusev crashes in to demolish Slater and confronts
Cena. Cena! You disgrace of a champion! I was so disgusted with last night that I
demanded a rematch and I got it! At
Payback, you and I will fight again and in an “I Quit” Match! I will show all of America
Moving
along, we have a series of more or less filler matches with R-Truth
unceremoniously defeating Stardust though, I do have to still mention that I
like how Stardust is evolving. Not sure
he’ll get a lot of screen time but, I see the effort. Then Adam Rose and Fandango box for our dose
of fluff. The tidbit of note here is
seeing how Fandango has dumped this year’s dance partner, we watch to see if
Rosa Mendes defects to Rose, which she does in disgusting fashion. Definitely some PDA I didn’t need to
see. We get some Divas action after
that, in Naomi facing off against Brie Bella in a very okay match. It looks like The Bella Twins are back to
being faces for a bit, we’ll see if it matters. Naomi gets the win by the way.
We
then come to the reinstated King of the Ring tournament and apparently it’s the
1st Round / Quarterfinal because there are only 8 wrestlers in this
tourney. This match is actually not bad
at all with Sheamus dancing with our favorite psycho, Dean Ambrose. These 2 definitely slug it out and in quite
engaging fashion. I wasn’t sure if I was
going to like Sheamus’ heel-turn but I’m warming to it. He’s keeping it humorous, which I feel is a
very wise decision. Allows us to like
him either way (^_~) He’s cruel to Ambrose.
He bullies him about the ring and takes just about any chance he can to
deal him a Brogue Kick. Ambrose tries to
rev up his crazy but the Sheamus is a big, thick one and has a good 20-30lbs on
our loony hero. He uses every bit of
it to keep Ambrose in-line. It seems
almost over for Ambrose when Sheamus locks him up in his Cloverleaf submission
maneuver but Ambrose manages to get out of it and responds with an elbow-drop
off the top rope. They spill out the
ring. Sheamus, being the first one up,
takes advantage and Brogue Kicks Ambrose before he can regain his bearings. He starts to close in to dismantle Ambrose
completely when a jean vest and peroxided hairdo flies in and takes Sheamus
out. Yes, it’s Ziggler needing some
payback of his own after last night. He
delivers a flurry of forearms to Sheamus scaring him off into the stands.
Unfortunately, Ziggler's heroics count as a disqualification and it's Harper who's still in the King of the Ring Tournament.
After
that, we have an endearing moment where Damien Sandow thanks and reintroduces
himself to the WWE Universe. I remember
when he campily heeled it up with Cody Rhodes as the “Rhodes Scholars” and
actually liked his pompous persona but…he is mid-card fare. It ultimately came off…campy. Such is the life. But in this instance, he presents himself
genuinely, professionally and humbly.
Sandow has come a long way and I’m proud of his progression. Nevertheless, Curtis Axel still has an axe
to grind with anyone he’s told to and tonight, he’s not feeling Sandow. Well,
Sandow doesn’t feel him either and illustrates such by mocking Axel in truly
juvenile fashion. This riles Axel all
up and he attacks but Sandow is ready for it and though he didn’t start it, he
certainly finished it.
Next,
is a great match between Neville and Luke Harper for more King of the Ring
action. We see another “David &
Goliath” match-up and it’s hard to say how it goes. Neville is definitely fast becoming a crowd
favorite and though I like Harper, he doesn’t exactly have “mass appeal”. Regardless, these 2 go for it and it’s just
amazing. Neville takes it to Harper,
using his speed early on to disorient the much larger heel. Yet, when Harper did manage to get his mitts
on him, he’s ruthless, tossing and brutalizing the crowd favorite. Neville shows resolve, though and even some might of his own when he executes a full German Suplex to Harper. Neville manages to keep Harper off-balance
for the majority of the match and once he gets him down, he takes the match
with his signature Red Arrow.
That
brings us to the main event, Dad and Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton and Roman
Reigns. Needless to say, I would have
preferred that Orton and Reigns were on opposing teams but, what are you gonna
do. Can’t be gratuitous all the time 😉 As for the match, it went well for I
feel we’re supposed to be more focused on the “drama” at the moment. Rollins and Dad haven’t been seeing
eye-to-eye, and that dissension is where chaos erupts from. The match is fairly even at the
beginning. Everybody seems able to
return whatever is given. It starts to
sway when Dad and Rollins start arguing with each other. Both Orton and Reigns take advantage of this
and get on Rollins’ case as much as possible.
Now Enthusiasts, you know how I feel when it comes to Reigns vs. Rollins match-ups and
so, naturally when they’re opposing each other during the match, I expect Rollins to
be decimated. What I’ve noticed though is that we may be getting glimpses of
the flourishing character of Roman Reigns for he seems to play with Rollins as
opposed to take him seriously in these affairs and I appreciate the subtle
touch. I get that seeing Rollins get
continually squashed may ruffle further already ruffled feathers but, dag-nabit
that’s what would happen. It
should. Perhaps, in time if it’s all
made to “make sense” but for now, we go with the choreographed back and
forth. Things get messy at the end as
Reigns and Orton start to overwhelm Rollins and Rollins attempts to get some
offense going. Dad tries to offer some
assistance but Rollins gets a little overzealous and kicks Dad by mistake. Dad skips numbers as he counts to 10. That means he’s already mad! J&J see this and try to calm him but, too
late. Chokeslams to the both of them and
then Rollins tries to throw some weight and Dad gives him a fist to the face to
think about. He then throws his listless
body back into the ring where Reigns is happy to Superman Punch him and Orton,
just as pleased to serve him up a RKO.
But wait, there’s more! Dad catches his breath and takes a mic. All right, you razza-frackin’ kids, I said
we’d let the WWE Universe decide the main event at Payback. So let’s see what
it’s gonna be. Will it be Rollins &
Orton, Rollins & Reigns or Rollins, Orton & Reigns in a Triple Threat
Match? Survey says! Triple Threat by a landslide and so, there it
is Enthusiasts. We’ll see who’ll come
out with the belt at Payback. I’m a
little curious about this one. I’d have Orton take it this time around, personally.
Rollins retaining is harmless thus no fun and I just think the more time
taken with Reigns, the better. He should
always be in the hunt but, that trigger shouldn’t be pulled until the timing is
just right and I get a feeling, We the Audience will be the judge of that.
Doesn’t
mean that’ll stop Creative from doing something stupid, though. We’ll see what happens…
See
You Thursday,
-Nicole Alexis.
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