PUTTIN’ THAT SMACKDOWN…What Happened Last (Tuesday) Night [Apr. 16th, 2015]

The WWE’s European stint carries on and SmackDown continues to do its Army of Darkness type duty to keep us interested.  Again, I wasn’t blown away with the evening’s events but my interest was held and I found myself enjoying myself more than rolling my eyes and so, no real complaints from me outside of the usual.  Instead I opted to sit and pleasantly partake of the fare on offer.  It wasn’t half-bad.  If I didn’t know better, I would say that they were actually trying to change stuff up.  As They say, variety is the spice of life (^_~)

We open in London with John Cena, again.  The theme of late is the hot “new” title, the US Championship.  It’s so hot that Rusev still wants it back but, he wants it back on his terms.  He wants his rematch to be a Russian Chain Match.  What is a “Russian Chain Match”, you ask?  Well, it’s simple really.  After doing a little research, these apparently fall under any various “strap match” that may occur in the WWE or Wrestling Universe.  These gentlemen will be chained together within striking distance of each other.  The chain can be used as a weapon and the ultimate goal is to touch all 4 corners of the ring.  I’m sure there are other stipulations but these, as with all things, are probably subject to change between now and go-time.  In any case, now that we know what’s up for Extreme Rules, who’s up for this US Title!  Anyone!  Any takers!  Cena waits a few beats and strangely enough, it’s a tag team that answers the call.  Tyson Kidd and Cesaro saunter down the ramp with Natalya in tow and they have some facts to share.  Fact: We are all around awesome.  There’s no one cleaner, more phenomenal, and just all around by the book than us in the ring.  Fact: The both of us are champions.  We’ve got the Tag Team Titles. And, and, and…Cesaro has even held the US Championship before.  Nice, huh?  Fact: Both one of us can out-wrestle you and so, that means either one of us is good enough to win that title.  And you know what, you couldn’t find better champions.  The crowd would actually like us. We’d be like…the best champions ever.  Oh, wait just one second, gentlemen.  A Mr. Daniel Bryan feels the need to make an entrance and with the Intercontinental Championship placed nicely around his waist.  Best champs ever?  I don’t know, guys.  Whadaya think?  Are they that good?  Bryan asks of the crowd.  The crowd doesn’t seem to think they’re that special.  Gotta side with them, Bryan concurs.  But, I’m a fair man.  Why don’t we give you guys a chance to prove it?  If you guys got the Tag Team thing on lock, why don’t you face John and I in a match?  You guys are the champs, right?  This should be already in the bag for you.  Cesaro and Kidd look to each other.  Yeah, they should be able to take ‘em.  Yeah, we’re better than these guys.  Well, Natalya certainly thinks so and takes on the challenge.  The boys say wait!  They huddle briefly and then say, you’re on!  And so, there you have it.  The main event is Daniel Bryan and John Cena vs. Cesaro and Tyson Kidd.  Strangely intrigued.

For the first match of the night, we have Bray Wyatt up against R-Truth which basically boils down to a squash match in Wyatt’s favor.  As I’ve stated on the Twitters, I don’t buy Wyatt as being the new face of fear but…at the same time, I’ll see what he does.  I’m not sure how cerebrally evil you can get in a PG Era yet, if Wyatt is as creative as he seems to think he is, he may just live up to his self-proclaimed title at some point.

Another squash match follows with Wade “Bad News” Barrett coming out to take out The Miz but, seeing how it’s clearly staged to be that, We the Audience and the London Crowd, accept this.  The Miz is all fluff and plays his part well and so when We see the booking, we know what’s going to happen but, that’s what should here and it does.   With a little banter, Barrett takes The Miz out with the Bull Hammer. 

The next match, however, was very engaging and I enjoyed it thoroughly.  We have Sheamus vs. Neville.  Sheamus did us the favor of bringing up the inherent bad blood between the English and Irish and so, by default, that makes for a fine match.  What stuck out to me was how I didn’t realize how small Neville is compared to the bigger guys.  Sheamus dwarfed him.  It explains his gymnastic approach but still, was so surprised.  Nevertheless, we see Neville is a well-built lad and he doesn’t really cower to Sheamus.  He goes right at him and though Sheamus takes full advantage of the size difference, Neville proves a formidable opponent.  That is why Sheamus soon goes, Fuck it! and slams Neville into an announce table, forcing the disqualification.  Sheamus doesn’t care, though and hoists Neville up on his shoulder to proceed to destroy him in the ring.  That is until Dolph Ziggler rushes in, to the rescue.  A fresh Ziggler is more than Sheamus can stand at the moment and he takes his leave…for now.

To follow, we have The New Day up against Los Matadores.  Well, I didn’t think this gimmick would take and the WWE is beginning to agree, it would seem when it comes to the New Day.  In instances like this, I always wonder whose idea this was.  Did these 3 guys come to Vince McMahon or whomever and say, “Hey!  We got this great idea!...” or is it Vince or whomever saying, “Hey, we (and by we I mean, I) have this great idea…”?  It’s one of those “chicken or the egg” kind of scenarios.  Yet, when it comes to the WWE, in one case I can sympathize and in the other I roll my eyes.  I never liked the idea of “The New Day” but, if this is some subtle kayfabe in effect, meaning if the idea was to turn them heel all along, then I could appreciate this but…how would we ever know?  The crux that is the quintessential Catch 22.  While you ponder upon that, you can mark that The New Day took out Los Matadores and fostered some new hope?

We have another experiment in a Triple Threat Divas Match between Natalya, Alicia Fox and Cameron.  On RAW we remember the match between Alicia and Natalya that Cameron refereed for and stole.  This match is much the same but, Cameron botched it so bad at one point, you definitely begin to question what the point is.  Natalya does her best to save it and editing tries to salvage the rest but it’s an instance where if you thought that “wrestling” was real in any respect, that fallacy was clearly exposed in that moment.  Cameron is not a strong Diva in any respect.  I think that’s why she’s a heel.  She’s never gonna take it seriously but, to be honest, she doesn’t really have to.  It’s genius when you think about it.  All you have to be is cute and “good enough”.  It makes me wonder why I didn’t try to do the same but alas, I feel that ship has sailed.  It’s the corporate life for me now…unless somehow that changes…but why fantasize…this blog is my outlet and to be honest, keeps me out of trouble (^_~)  In any case, Cameron “sneaks” a win and takes it without any second thought.

After that, fluff continues with Fandango up against professional partier and wrestler, Adam Rose.  Well, before the match, we see that Fandango has had his fill of Rosa Mendes and he sets her down in standardized Fandango fashion.  He enters the match against Rose unfazed and proceeds to have a decent one.  It kinda cracks me up how both Fandango and Adam Rose are fairly solid wrestlers yet, they seem more resigned to their gimmicks so they don’t seem to mind being filler and mid-card fare.  Hey, they apparently know their place.  The Rock wouldn’t have to talk to them.  Later in the match, Rosa runs out to somehow emotionally charge the situation but the only one who takes the bait is Rose who showed some interest earlier.  Rosa, still hurt and unsure, doesn’t fully acknowledge but doesn’t fully rebuff either.  Regardless, Fandango gets the win despite Rosa’s attempted interference and he indulges us with “dance”.

This brings us to the main event in the tag team match between Bryan and Cena vs. Cesaro & Kidd.  As I’m sure many of you heard, Daniel Bryan has been taken off the European Tour due to a possible aggravation of his previous injury.  I would say you could see he was a little stiff in the match but performed cleanly.  Cena also appears to do much of the work.  The match is a solid one, though.  Cesaro and Kidd are great workers and put on a great clinic in tag-teaming.  I really respect that about them.  You can see where the base of all of what we look at comes from in them.  There is a skill to wrestling.  One does have to learn to wrestle and they illustrate that at every showing.  They are wrestlers.  No doubt about it and I commend them for it.  This is the match the interlopers crashed too but I couldn’t really tell so, editors get a pat on the back, as well.  As you could probably figure, Bryan and Cena get the win but in a well-executed match so, everyone does really.  I appreciated it for what it was. Suggest you do the same.

See You Monday,

-Nicole Alexis.