GIVING IT TO YOU RAW…What Happened Last Night (May 18th, 2015)

Greetings, Enthusiasts!  We return to RAW to see if there is in fact any “fallout” from Payback and I’d have to say that it’s more or less business as usual.  RAW was a mixed bag again, as it tends to be, but it seems to rely a bit more on “story” this time out as opposed to wrestling and be it kayfabe or not, many of our usual players are mildly injured.  This may have had something to do with the truncated, actual wrasslin’ content but for whatever the reason we concentrated on the non-wrestling action this time out and start to see whether we’re interested enough to partake of the next scheduled event, The Elimination Chamber.

We open in Richmond, Virginia with The Authority leaders back as Stephanie McMahon and Triple H walk out to greet us.  Stephanie is happy to be back and is glad that we are happy she’s back too.  Well, while she was away, it looks like not too much outside of the usual went on.  She returns to Seth Rollins still holding the Heavyweight Championship and though there was some dissension…that’s kinda par for the course in the WWE Universe, being a face or heel is kinda irrelevant.  In any case, the point The Authority is trying to emphasize is that they are winners and the proof lies in Seth Rollins, the face of our Future!  And seeing how Rollins did manage to retain at Payback, The Authority feel that it’s best to formally celebrate and that’ll happen at the end of the night.  There’s a display table out tonight, also and Stephanie uncovers it to reveal the now unclaimed Intercontinental Championship.  We have to get that on someone ASAP.  So, there will be a match at Elimination Chamber for it.  There are some digs to Daniel Bryan seeing how, though he’s got plenty of moxie, he just can’t take the hits wrestling requires so, at Elimination Chamber, we’ll make sure that someone who can handle the rigors of holding a championship belt will get to wear it this time around.  With all this talk of the Intercontinental Title, Sheamus decides to make an appearance and formally pledge his allegiance to The Authority.  According to Sheamus, there’s no need for an Intercontinental Title match at the Elimination Chamber because he did everyone the favor of taking Bryan out himself, ergo the title should just be his.  Yet, Ryback appears to beg to differ. He’s gained respect for Bryan.  That little guy comes out with heart every time and by Ryback’s standards that’s all right.  He took himself out doing what he loves and Sheamus is gonna come out here and talk shit about it?   Well, there’s one thing Ryback doesn’t like, and that’s shittalkers talking shit about people they don’t have shit on and Sheamus just made it onto Ryback’s “Shit List”.  Well, Triple H finds this all amusing and basically goes, why wait until Elimination Chamber?  Have at it right now!  Steph?...Triple H motions to exit the ring and The Authority take their leave.

It looks like Randy Orton and Roman Reigns took powders for RAW this week, doubt Orton will show for Smackdown this week though, should be business as usual for Reigns.  This may account for the slight change-up for the opening or they could just be doing it for the hell of it.  In either case, it works enough.

As for the match, it was all right if you like 2 big dudes slamming into each other.  Ryback took a good beating from Bray Wyatt on Sunday and bears a bandaged midriff to indicate the damage.  There are whispers that Ryback may have broken ribs but I’m thinking he’s just bruised up good if hurt at all.  It doesn’t stop him from going for it though and Sheamus is always up for a tussle.  Seeing how Ryback is all banged up, naturally Sheamus takes advantage by landing a hit or kick to his ribs whenever he gets the chance.  Ryback tries to return the favor by shutting Sheamus down with heavy blows and checks that send Sheamus out the ring to get some time to regroup.  Ryback goes aw, come on! And follows Sheamus out.  He shows Sheamus the ringposts and the barricade before shoving him back in the ring to make sure he’s well acquainted with his elbow.  Sheamus rather get to know Ryback’s ribs better and deals them a few punches to back him up.  They collide again and afterwards, Sheamus is grabbing his eye. He staggers and wails, luring Ryback in and once Ryback takes the bait, Sheamus busts out the Brogue Kick and whilst still holding his face he lays down on Ryback to complete the pin.  As he stands to celebrate, we see that Sheamus is “healed”.  Wasn’t that entertaining?

Next up, we keep the interest for Elimination Chamber going with “King” Wade Barrett going for it again against a now wounded Neville.  Sunday’s antics have left Neville with a sore knee and so, Barrett definitely plans to exploit this.  For added heel-itude, Bo Dallas gives us some discouraging words, by likening Neville to a Little Engine That Couldn’t.  He continues to de-motivate on Commentary, as well.  Again, I’m not sure if this injury is real but Neville sure plays it up as if it is.  Any hard landings on it requires him to take a second to see if he can still go on.  Barrett shows no sympathy and attacks it any way he can.  He kicks him, locks him up in knee-twisting submissions, anything to get Neville to say “uncle”.  Neville’s gutsy though and hangs tough but his knee just isn’t doing him any favors.  Near the end, Neville attempts a springboard maneuver but his knee gives out and Barrett takes the opening and lands a Bull Hammer for the win.

The next match has Dean Ambrose facing off against Bray Wyatt.  Wyatt has momentum coming into this match having won against Ryback at Payback and he takes it to our Lunatic Fringe.  Wyatt lands a few massive clotheslines both inside and outside the ring.  At one point, Ambrose counters with a cross-body block followed up with some punches, showing that he has no intention of going out quietly.  Wyatt’s fine with that.  He loves fucking Ambrose up.  Ambrose keeps saying come get some and deals some slaps to Wyatt’s face.  This fires Wyatt up and he tries for a Sister Abigail.  Ambrose goes, no dice!  He tries to get Wyatt set up on the ropes for a Superplex but Wyatt wriggles out.  Then J&J Security, now Authority free agents, run out and mess with Ambrose from the apron.  Joey Mercury distracts the referee so that Jamie Noble can knock Ambrose off the ropes and into Wyatt who can now cleanly execute his Sister Abigail and take the win.

Moving along we have a Tag Team Title rematch with Kofi Kingston and Big E. Langston of the New Day vs. Cesaro & Tyson Kidd.  The stipulation this time around is that Xavier Woods is banned from ringside since he has an inclination of getting involved in the matches.  Well, what we have to understand about this match is that it is fodder for the big ass Tag Team match that’s slated for Elimination Chamber.  The match is a decent back and forth but Kingston eventually gets caught up in a Cesaro Swing and that’s when Woods breaks and rushes out.  Langston and Kingston recover and proceed to out-man Cesaro & Kidd that is until The Lucha Dragons rush out but they’re not there to help.  They’re there to make a statement that there up for the Tag Team Titles too.  If the Lucha Dragons are in the hunt, then so are Los Matadores and they rush out and dish out some high-flying antics of their own.  Los Matadores, you say?  How’s about The Ascension too?  Don’t forget that’s not all the Tag Teams, The Prime Time Players finally stop talking shit and rush out to make their statement.  Swiftly, the chaos dissipates as PTP clear the ring and display why they should be worth millions of dollars.  Yet, Cesaro and Kidd take the disqualification as The New Day retain the titles.

After that, we have John Cena’s open challenge.  You know the routine by now.  Who wants it!  Who wants to take a shot at The Champ!  We look to the ramp and see a semi-familiar face.  Those who watch NXT are well aware of whom he is, those of us that take a gander from time to time can ascertain enough that it’s Kevin Owens.  I’m not familiar with his in-ring persona but I get the feeling he’s a heel.  And though plenty of Enthusiasts salivate at this development, Owens has come all this way to say, no thank you.  But you know what, when I’m ready, it’ll be your ass.  To prove it, Owens Sitdown Powerbombs Cena and then checks to see if he can see him.  Doesn’t look like it.

The docket speaks of a match between Dolph Ziggler and Stardust next.  Why? You ask.  Well, if that headbutt gash was the real deal, our scrappy hero could probably use a bit of a breather and on top of that, we have some “story” to move along.  Stardust does his shtick to a tee and looks like he might take the match but Ziggler lands his ZigZag and that deflates any hope Stardust intended to ride on.  Afterwards, Michael Cole gets in the ring to have a quick interview.  Turns out Ziggler’s gonna be in the big match for the Intercontinental Title at Elimination Chamber, how does he feel?  Well, Ziggler’s been better but he’s earned his street cred. so, it can’t all be bad.  It appears someone else is taken by Ziggler’s efforts as well.  Lana makes an unexpected appearance.  She makes her way to the ring, well supported by the crowd.  She steps in and approaches Ziggler.  Ziggler’s not expecting this.  If he’d had known he’d have worn better manties but he stays cool, even when Lana leans in and gives him a kiss.  He’s strangely fine with this but, you know who isn’t?  Rusev.  Though Rusev washed his hands of Lana earlier, he will not be made a fool of.  He marches into the ring, livid.  He’s shouting both in English and Russian and demands an explanation from Lana.  Lana says, take that!  And slaps him.  Rusev’s head just about explodes and he looks ready to attack Lana but Ziggler jumps up and lands a chivalrous ZigZag to save the day and win the girl.

We then have Erick Rowan and Luke Harper come out and trounce Fandango and Zack Ryder.  Any Enthusiast should have called that one from the start.  With Jobber 1 & 2 in the mix, what else would happen?  That’s followed with another Divas showdown between Naomi and Nikki Bella for the Divas Championship.  This match wasn’t bad.  The ladies have definitely been upping the ante when it comes to their “selling” quotient.  They’ve been getting in there and going at as opposed to play-fighting.  This is promising.  With the ladies of NXT proving formidable, the WWE Divas have to focus more on wrestling as opposed to looking cute.  I’m all for it.  A lady should be able to kick an ass (^_~)  In any case, the match is fairly even at the start but Naomi gets a little too big for her sparkly britches and Nikki manages to rough her up and get her set for the Rack Attack but Tamina says have a taste of shoe and Superkicks her.  The heel ladies then proceed to jump Darling Nikki and it looks grim for the Bella until a pale wonder streaks out and down the ramp.  It’s Paige!  And she’s back to tell us whose house it is.  I still don’t think it’s hers but maybe in time.

That brings us to the “main event”, the celebration of an “Architect to a Dream”, Seth Rollins.  Yes, yes, Rollins is great isn’t he?  Somehow, this wily, rapscallion managed to best the likes of Randy Orton, Roman Reigns, and Dean Ambrose all in one setting.  If this isn’t the face of the future, I ask you, who is? As the Authority revel in heel-itude, the usually angst-ridden Dean Ambrose makes his way to the ring.  Can you say, awkward?  He’s gnawing on this title shot idea.  He asked earlier but Rollins pretended to check his calendar on his iPhone and said he’s currently all booked up.  So, Ambrose is being more persistent.  He wants a title shot.  Rollins says he wants to go to the moon but unfortunately, we’ve gotta wait for us to get a handle on space travel.  Get in line with Reigns and Orton.  Ambrose doesn’t like waiting.  Stephanie can believe this but still is a little surprised Ambrose has the gall to be out there right now.  Yet, she does what she does best and pulls rank and tells Rollins to, Get him!  Rollins, dressed more for dinner, shrugs and un-does his tie.  Ambrose basically says that’s exactly what he’s waiting for and unloads some of the crazy he’s been holding back.  These 2 tussle out the ring and over to a covered set of cinderblocks.  Remember when Rollins Curbstomped Ambrose on some of those a while back, well, it didn’t fit in on Sunday but Monday’s got time for payback.  Ambrose gets Rollins’ head down on the blocks and gets himself a “steel” chair.  Give me a title match or else!  Ambrose says. Stephanie and Triple H start to cave.  Hey, whoa, take it easy!  Just let Seth go and you’ll get your match, Stephanie says. Really? Really?...Really?  Nope, doing it anyway, Ambrose starts to lay Rollins out but Mercury jumps in to thwart the attack.  Ambrose deals with both J&J and then goes for Rollins.  The rest of the Authority clear the ring but when Ambrose runs past, Dad gives a good boot to his front to settle him down.  He goes for the Chokeslam but Ambrose rebounds off the ropes and throws himself completely into a clothesline, laying Dad out.  Ambrose starts to do his Dirty Deeds but Rollins jumps in.  Dazed, Rollins gathers Ambrose up and he again pays homage to his mentor and ends him with the Pedigree.  It’s all about Authority this time around, Enthusiasts. Ah, if the good guys won all the time, it wouldn’t be fun to watch.

 See You Thursday,

-Nicole Alexis.