PUTTIN’ THAT SMACKDOWN…What Happened a Couple of Nights Ago [May 8th, 2015]

Salutations to you good, Enthusiasts!  I hope you all are doing well.  So, what did you think about Smackdown? For me, I felt it held to its Army of Darkness counter to RAW in tone but, I felt it a little loose all around, even for WWE standards.  I don’t know if it’s because they’re in Canada and are trying to make it so people can take it easy but, it felt a little phoned in.  Not completely but, I feel it was a bad “selling” day but, there was some fun that offset that and so, I’m not turned off of Payback but, I thought they could do a little better job to get us interested.  I suppose they’re saving that for next week.  They're definitely piquing curiosity, though.

We open in Ontario, Ottawa in Canada and we’re “royally” greeted by the newly crowned “King of the Ring”, Wade “Bad News” Barrett via an “interview” with Jerry “The King” Lawler center ring.  Lawler basically asks him how the crown suits him and does his cape fit well? Yea! Cape fits well enough.  As the new king, I do decree that I, so awesome that I am, rightfully deserve my new title and my new respect.  All of you bloody tossers are lucky I won that tournament.  Can you imagine someone like that ridiculous Ziggler walking about like he’s something? He’s already bleeding delusional thinking he’s the best.  Can’t even get to a damn stylist to do something about that hair.  Just look at me.  The pinnacle of grace and bloody decorum!  You don’t know how good you’ve got it!  Yet, like every king, I have to assert my reign and having another “king” around just won’t do.  Barrett says, looking to Lawler.  But, if you give me your full allegiance by saying, “All hail King Barrett!” well, we should be able to start this rule in good fashion.  How’s about it there, Jerry?  Well, Lawler is a vet of the WWE Universe and knows for a fact that he owes Barrett no favors.  He can’t bring himself to do it.  Barrett must punish those who defy his word else there’s no credibility to his power and so, Barrett readies himself to distribute punishment in the form of his Bull Hammer.  That is until, Dolph Ziggler comes running out to nix that edict.  Close behind is a referee and our first match is an “impromptu” one.

Barrett controls most of the match.  I wouldn’t say the “power” has gone to his head but he definitely is confident and Ziggler seems to submit for the most part.  Yet, Ziggler may simply be lying in wait for once he gets an opening, he lands a Famous-er and starts to turn the tables.  That’s about when Sheamus comes in to help Barrett rough him up.  The 2 UK heels start to deal Ziggler a truckload of blows until a sudden new arrival flies in.  We look to see that Neville has jumped into the fray to even the playing field and the faces start a new charge.  That only means one thing. Tag Team Match!

Well, this part of the match belies my “phoned in” sentiment at the beginning.  These 4 also just work well with each other and put on a great match.  It’s hard to say which way it will ultimately go.  Both sides get some aggressive offense in.  I had to giggle some when Sheamus caught Neville on his shoulder.  He’s so small!  You know, compared to everyone else, I’m sure to me he’s normal sized but to WWE folk, he’s just a little guy.  Yet, I love how that doesn’t get him down.  He is strong and can dish out just as much as he gives.  Nevertheless, this close match looks like it might go to the heels when Barrett locks Ziggler up in a roll-up but Neville breaks it up and Ziggler lands the ZigZag and the triumphant win.

After that, we have a slight head-scratcher with Fandango taking on Luke Harper.  They’re both mid-card but Harper is definitely the better man, even if a heel.  They have at and Harper, in quick fashion does lay waste.  As Fandango lay defeated, we hear Erick Rowan’s music.  Apparently, he’s had enough of being good and just wants to beat ass.  He comes out to drop some knees on the felled Fandango and…We the Audience don’t have too much of a problem with this…makes it interesting, actually.

Next up, we have some 6-Man-Tag action with the New Day up against Cesaro & Tyson Kidd and Ryback.  This actually wasn’t all that bad.  The New Day and Cesaro & Kidd work, strangely enough and with Ryback serving as a fair counter to Big E. Langston, this match makes perfect sense, in a just for a “fair match” sort of deal. The match takes a little while to get going but, these 2 teams have good chemistry and Ryback didn’t seem to disrupt it.  Everyone gets to do what they do best too.  Kidd is wily and creative in administering his kicks and holds.  Cesaro continues to show us why he’s dubbed “The Swiss Superman” by displays of great strength and dexterity in throwing his uppercuts and executing throws.  Ryback plows through without concern as does Langston and Kingston keeps the air interesting.  Yet, it’s Xavier Woods who gets the nod for comedic relief.  There’s a moment where I swear he runs around the ring just to have Kidd kick him in the face.  I have no idea what he was planning to do.  As far as I’m concerned, he simply was executing choreography, which should probably be rethought in the future but given the nature of this match, I just found it funny.  We also get a “feint” from Bray Wyatt as his music hits, distracting everyone but Woods keeps to his “heel” duties and when the lights come back up, he’s trying to take hold of Ryback’s feet even though he's outside of the ring.  Hilarious.  Kingston keeps his head in the game though and rolls Kidd up for the win.

We then have some Divas action with Naomi continuing to heel it up going against Emma, who is sporting new duds that I think work for her in red, black and gold.  The match isn’t much to speak of.  Emma appears to be jobbing it on the ladies side so Naomi takes her out with The Rearview and Tamina serves up a huge Superkick.

With speculation of heel-turns all a flutter about the internets, there’s much talk of who will change sides.  It’s also clear that with Rowan returning to the Darkside that there are hopes of a Wyatt Family reunion and with all former SHIELD members in the main event at Payback, plenty would love to see them reunite as well.  This occurrence would be exciting.  I know we’re all looking for clues on this one and Naomi would be the proverbial red herring.  Though, I am curious to see if they keep her heel upon Jey Uso’s return, it appears with AJ Lee’s sudden departure, they simply put Naomi in her place.

In any case, after that we have some Lucha action with Los Matadores up against the charming Lucha Dragons.  Well, you know who I like and the action was fun but Lucha Underground is cleaner at the moment but I can see that these fellows have loads of talent.  I look forward to how these fellows develop.  In fun, aerial fashion, the Lucha Dragons take the win.

That brings us to the traditional contract signing for the Fatal-4-Way match at Payback.  Well, Randy Orton, Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns play ball and come out to do their duty but Seth Rollins puts on his little diva act and prefers to authorize his signature from the ramp.  Seeing how being the Heavyweight Champion entails so many responsibilities, I’m sure you can understand that I am a busy man. Rollins begins.  Now, it just so happens that Kane (Dad) has the authority to sign in my absence and I’m gonna go ahead and invoke that clause so…yeah…Well, I hate to burst your bubble there, Seth.  Dad replies. Though I do have that authority, I didn’t really like what you had to say about me backstage. Irrelevant and obsolete, eh.  Well then, you probably wouldn’t want me signing for you.  It might not matter anyway.  Why don’t you join us…and make this official.  As Rollins makes his way to the ring, he brings up all sorts of reasons why every participant, except himself of course, sucks to pieces.  He gets in the ring.  He signs the contract and then gets into it with Dad over something.  Ambrose takes this opportunity to do some redecorating in the ring.  Once pleased with the set up, he basically goes fuck it, y’all know what’s ‘bout to happen.  Dibs on the table and everyone haves at.  As far as brawls go, there have certainly been better.  This is where I feel it was phoned in all around so that’s why I think this is more of a general decision as opposed to poor performance.  Maybe the style works better in real time but for TV, atrocious. It looked like I was watching a high school play fight.  It gets better towards the end though, as Ambrose and Reigns have a miscommunication that almost comes to blows, setting off some hints for the heel-turn maybe.  Rollins was chased off by Orton but seeing how Ambrose and Reigns are distracted he starts to jog back in.  As Ambrose and Reigns argue Orton slides in and RKOs Ambrose to which Reigns responds with a Superman Punch.  As he closes in, Rollins jumps up on the top rope and catches Reigns on the face with a knee as he jumps down.  Dazed, Rollins finishes him off with a Superkick and holds his title belt up in victory!  The end definitely required everyone to hit marks so that may have been the purpose of the visibly staged choreography.  I don’t mind the envelope being pushed but we all know that these guys don’t have long to map all this shit out.  Don’t try to do too much but definitely test the limits of what can be done.  Smackdown did its duty, interest for Payback driven up. Good job.

See You Monday,

-Nicole Alexis (^.~)